Twenty-Oh-Eight

New year is just on the line.

The line where everyone put down their New Year resolutions and bla bla.

The line I'll be 20 upon crossing.

I hate that number, really.
It makes me look old.

*In a chatroom*

"Hey intro pls?"
"u 1st"
"20/m"
"SO OLD?!"


sheesh.

Maybe I'll let my birthday pass before I admit I'm 20.
Well logically it's possible, isn't it?

So now, my New Year Resolutions.


- Finds a reason to quit smoking for.
- Spend more quality time with my family.
- Spend more quality time with my cat.
- Do well in my studies. (Hopefully NS didn't call me up first)
- Have my braces taken out so I can have my charming smile. lol.
- Make more friends who will understand me inside out.
- Make less people thinking I'm arrogant.
- Still virgin.
- Have fun, legally.
- Cure my insomnia.
- Progress with Mel Fraps.
- Have a laptop
- Be a better man, I mean, boy.


With the new year resolutions out of the way, I already had plans on how my entry will be on New year itself.
It'll be full of pics,
And even more full of crap.
So be prepared.


I do hope this year will be my first time celebrating New year's eve outside.
Cause I spent all the past eves in my room, playing games.
Yes you can say that I have no life.

Lanny the Arrogant Buddy says: Hahaha, pathetic sucker!


The 19-year old Virgin,
Lan

EDIT: fuck, I just remembered I'm working tomorrow. 6pm to 1am. no life indeed....ARRRRRRRRRRR!

Topic for today: Arrogance

Before I start, let me say a few unfortunate words that I hope you guys will be serious and sympathise with me on this one.

I lost my cap.

Thanks to my green tea's hair volumizer that makes my hair so thick that I couldn't even feel if I'm wearing a cap or not.

You see people, I'm at work last night.

No, it's not a topic about work again, just a, erm, explanation.

Was in the container, helping carry down bags for easier reach to others. I got out, the tractor moves with the container.

There I was.
Wondering how the hell I can see my fringe.
Because I wear cap to avoid my sweaty hair from "falling" down, poking my eyes as I carry heavy bags.

"Yarrrr-ARGH!"

And to think I can even wonder how.
Lot's of reasons came into my mind and I pick one out.

Cap's not there.

I asked the apek beside me.

"Eh u gt see my topi?" *hand signal, using my right hand to grab my head from above to intensify understanding*

"No leh, I think drop in the container"

Bad news.
Container's gone.
And I can't remember which.

I had alot of memories with that cap,
and to think I've lost it in the most clumsiest way.

Well you know what.
Hair, you are to be blamed for all of this.
Hair, I can't believe you were so THICK-skinned not to even hold the cap back.
Hair, I still love you though.

R.I.P. Cap (2006-2007)



Now let's get on to the topic shall we?

So, I've heard about people talking down my back.
Strangers mainly, who don't know me yet.

They said I'm arrogant.
Yes I know I've always walk around with a face that it's not that approachable.
But don't judge a book by it's cover.
Don't judge Azlan by his steamy eyes, shaved moustache, and partly aluminium-foiled teeth.

I don't talk to stranger not because Mom tell me not to,
But Ima shy boy you know nigga?
You talk to me, I talk to you.
You crap to me, I crap to you.

Simple.
But some people takes it as rocket science.

You know who you are.
But I meant no offence.

JUST TALK TO ME AND I'M NOT THAT ARROGANT AS YOU THINK!

I'm friendly.
But not to the extent I'll keep touching you when communicating.
But it'll be you who keep touching me.

I've been a victim of hair-molest, nipple-pinchers and even butt gropers.
Okay let's drop that subject.

Now let us all imagine, what if I were to be arrogant?
Even in my own blog?


Let us all welcome, Lanny the Arrogant Buddy.


Hello suckers.

I'm Lan and I'm better than anyone else in this planet.
I'm special.
In many different ways.

I hate talking to people because when they talk about their lives, I pity them for having such a miserable life.
Nah nahhh, not pity..
But it's a laughing stock.
You know why?
Because I'm better than anyone else.
Not like others who are so pathetic.
What a pity.
I mean what a laughing stock lol.

So what makes me so special?
Many, but I'm telling you not even a one percent.

I'm fairer than most
And I'm malay.
How cool is that?
Each time you take a walk around your neighbourhood,
Just look at all the other malays.

Charcoals, brownie cakes is what you see from them.
But I'm fairer.
I'm special.
And I don't talk to dark people because I can't see them,
And it's really scary talking to just eyes and teeth.

I'm telling you all this not because I'm racist.
Heck I'm even a Malay myself.
But to let you know how special I am.

But don't feel pathetic at my remarks though.
You are already pathetic, get over it.

I also have the coolest hair everyone is craving for.
But you have to be special to have it.
Are you?
Read the last paragraph.

I look the best when I'm in my skinny jeans.
Because I have sexier legs than all of you.
So don't make laugh at you guys for wearing skinnies.
You are just not special for them.

If you think what I listed above isn't so special,
Then you have a pathetic mindset.
That is why I'm not talking to you.
Sucker.



That's all for Lanny the Arrogant Buddy folks!

Sheesh, I had to fight every brain cells in me to get me writing all that shit.
But at least I hope that's something to read for our Ms Wawa here,
Who's pressuring me to update.

Now take a good look at that arrogant part.
It makes you go "MENYAMPAH!"?
So don't pressure me to update.
Or I'll make more of these.
Then you'll feel very pathetic.

Haha.


Anyway no offence to anyone, I love you guys.
And girls.

Now stop calling me arrogant and open me up like a book.
Read me.
Understand me.
Because I'm special.




The Special One,
Aze Mourlanho

Won't let it devour me again.

Hello mates.

Yes it's that time of the year again, so Merry Christmas to everyone!
How I wished Singapore had snow.

Sheesh.

So been awhile since I last update eh?
Especially during these holidays where I'm expected to be doing regular updates and stuff.

But shit happens.

You see these days I'm not really in my hyper mood.
Even today.
Even now.

And that is why, I don't really have any idea what to talk about.

Ahh, let's talk about work.

Yes that same old topic I've been talking about in the previous posts.

But not to worry,
This time there ain't no fucking nyonya again.

So what makes last night's work stands out from the rest?

A) Something hilarious happens
B) Something irritating happens
C) Something dangerous happens
D) Nothing happen

Please shade the correct bracket on the OAS below

(A) (B) (C) (D)



If you chose C
Hurray!

You suck because you got it wrong.

Heh the answer is B.


I was doing my usual Arrival 20-23, but this time under one strict but superbly annoying Officer.

Well you might say I deserve it when I continue story-telling.
So bear in mind other officers isn't like this.
Or most.

I was like working 6pm-1am as per usual.
Then came 8pm, when I cabot and go makan with my friend.

Btw I was kind of pissed to know my vanilla milkshake don't have,
I bought ocean float instead.
It's for people who can't swim,
Like me.
Thus the name.

Anyway I happened to return just before 10pm.
Lol.

Was in the container pulling bags down so the others can reach it with ease.
Then he came.

Off: "Awak name sape? (You name what?)

Lan: "Azlan" (Azlan)

Off: "Awak tadi pergi mane? (You just now go where?)

Lan: "Makan" (Eat)

Off: "Awak tau berapa lama awak hilang? Orang lain pun belum makan, awak tahu tak? (You know how long you missing? People different also haven't eat, you know not?)

Lan: "Ntah lak, saye tk tengok jam." (I love eating bread with jams)

Off: "Lain kali jgn buat lagi, da lame buat gini? (Different times don't do again, done long do this?)

Lan: "Tak, saya baru start keje" (Nope, I new start work)

Lol.

What do you expect, been missing for almost 2 hours under a strict officer.
No wonder I got a lecture from him.
Heh.

So another irritating moment was when me and mat finished our shift and on the way to the changing room.

Bastard appears again,
This time he takes two, alone.

Officer vs tag-team champions, Indie and Emo kid.

This time he tried to persuade us to stay behind cause Japan airlines gonna land.
And he wants us to be there helping.

Let's analyse the scenario here:

Time check: 12.15am
Transportation leaving at: 12.50am
Japan airlines landing at: 12.20am + 15 mins for containers to come= 12.35am
Average round takes: 15mins

So take a good look at it, and remember we still had to change in the locker room.

You think we'll make it for the cab?

No.
That is why I planned our runaway plan.
With the sabah people helping out with our plan.

Runaway strategy:

Put in earpiece.
Turn on your iPod loud.
Pretend you didn't hear him or see him when he's around calling you.
Quickly clock out so he won't have the chance to tell you to go work.
Sing very loud as you make your way to the exit. (Optional: Provided by Lan)


That how it works.
You can also use this method if you came home late and your parents are waiting in the living room.

But results not guaranteed.


And bad news.
I've started back playing MapleStory.

But I'll make sure this time it doesn't dominate my life.
Wish me luck.


See ya mates,
Lan

Ahh, tagging game again. :(

Some people just can't see me sitting back on my computer seat with my two legs crosses each other's on my computer table, with my hands on the back of my head.

They just had to make me do something.

They just have to make sure I do something so they can then sit back and relax reading my entry.

But that's should be ok I guess, it's a tagging game, they kena, I also kena.

Yea I got beliefs in Karma.

So yeah, thanks to Hidayah a.k.a AkuKecik,
I've got tagged.

And I shall waste my time doing this piece of crap.

But I like crap.

Heh.

1. Do the following without complains
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Favourites
Colour: Blue, White, Black.
Food: Don't think I have one.
Song: Rock, those non-noisy ones like Killers or Strokes.
Movie: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comedy.
Sport: Football, Floorball, Badminton.
Day of the week: Umm..Saturday?
Seasons: Windy and Cloudy
Ice cream: VANILLA!



Currents
Mood: Erm, kind of hyper yet silent. (Ask wawa what I'm doing at msn right now)
Taste: Feel like vomitting.
Clothes: Chelsea jersey and track pants lol.
Desktop: You mean PC? I'm using one right now.
Toenail: Trimmed but not even.
Time: 11.40pm
Surrounding: Quiet night
Annoyances: Listless.
Thoughts: See above.


First
Best Friends: NurFaisal, my changkat primary classmate.
Crush: Primary schoolmate, not telling ya
Movie: How the hell can I remember that? Jurassic Park?
Lie: cant remember.
Music: Rock, Bon Jovi is to be blame.



Lasts
Cigarette: about an hour ago.
Drink(alcohol): Never
Car Ride: uhh..Hari Raya?
Phone Call: Sam
CD Played: Battlefield 2 PC game, heh.



Have you ever
Dated your bestfriend: Can't say I got a real bestie.
Broken the Law: Duh, littering.
Been Arrested: I'm a good boy, a good 19-yr old boy. So yeah, NO.



Skinny-Dipped: nope, shy la. lol.
Been on Tv: no
Kissed Someone you dont know: a stray cat.
5 things you are wearing: Jersey, Boxer, trackpants..and umm..2 pockets.
4 things you're done today: Went out with Mel Fraps, Got my pay, tried starbucks vanilla frappucino, MSN.
3 things you can hear right now: Cat finding sex, sis watchin tv in da living room, my typing.
1 things you do when you bored: Play game.



5 people to do this
1. Shyqah Boncet
2. Hidie Gigie
3. Fareha Cordless
4. Dilly Spammer
5. SeriAyam MarineParade

WARNING: Contents might be dirty!

Before I start on anything, let me wish my Muslim friends and those who enjoy coming to see goats/cows getting slaughtered rather than going to gigs,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI/AIDILADHA!

*does goat-dance*

Heh.

With that said, I will pull up a warning, that what I'll be saying later on might be too dirty or uncomfortable to few. Don't worry I'll place a big WARNING before I get onto that topic.

Now let me talk about work last night.

There's this apek, whom naz and frez referred to him as nyonya. Well he deserved that glamorous title since he looks like one and nags like one.

Unfortunately, I started talking to her, I mean him, last night.
And it's sibei-irritating.

There's like 5 or 6 guys on belt 23 doing their flight, while me and "her" were like resting at belt 21. I got up and wanted to went over to help them out when "she" stops me.

Anyway before I continue, there's a flight coming over at belt 20.

She-Male: u don go der la, jus sit here. u go help dem ltr as if they come here n help u, they kanina u, u kanina them back la.

Lan: *sarcastic laugh*

SM: n don look tat side la, tat fuckin officer donno do work one. stupid fucker kanina. ltr he see u see them sure he ask u come and help, kanina.

Lan: *does it again*

SM: so u just stay here can oredi la, ltr u see u do belt 20 dey sure wont come help one.kanina fuckers.

Lan: ok la i wan go buy drink la.

*and that is how Lan escapes a conversation that is going nowhere*

And "she" even scolded me because I'm abit scared to smoke in the toilet where there's a risk I'll get caught.

"u stupid or wad, just flush after u smoke la kanina"

But I just smile.
You really can't blame him for looking like an aunty, after all he loves his "kanina" so much.
That is why I smiled.

haha.

so yeah but he's ok la for a workmate, helps me communicate between china mans and white-malay man, I mean me.

Talking about china-mans, one of them actually tried crapping around with me.

While we were like throwing bags from the container to the belt, he saw a sticker on a bag, takes it out and paste it on my shirt.

A Powerpuff girl sticker.
That bitch with the double-ponytailed blonde hair.
Bubbles I think.

And he thinks it's funny cause he laughed.
But I laughed too, cause it's like his first time "physically-communicating" with me and I appreciate that.

Aww.

Anyway talking about powerpuff girls.

Don't you guys ever wonder why even small primary school girls starts wearing mini-skirts when they go out?

I say let's put the blame on PPG.

It's cartoon like this that increases child-raping activities.
Damn you PPG.
I'll make sure my future-daughters watch Doraemon or other "covered" cartoons rather than exposing them to adult content of PPG.

If I had the choice, I will ban Powerpuff girls and maybe put back shows like Power Rangers on tee-vee for kids to watch.

I'm not talking about the new, stupid ones.
But the best ones, the old ones.

Yeah I'm talking about that egghead who chills around in a tube calling himself a silly name like "Zordon".
The "aiyayayayai" robot named Alpha 5.
And Jason, Kimberly, Trini (I think?), Kimberly, Zack, Tommy and my favourite: Billy.

Although everyone will be like in their retirement age and having white hairs all over them.
Heh, can you imagine what it'll be like if they started on the old power rangers using all of them back again?

"IT'S MORPHIN TIME!"
*Fight, fight, fight, fight and fight*
*Finish fighting*

"it's...puffing...time....."
*Every rangers pull out asthma-inhaler from their pockets and starts puffing*

And don't expect them to go around jumping and flying and kicking everywhere.
I can just imagine them doing kung-fu and some tai-chi.

All power rangers in their HQ: "Greetings Si-Fu Zordon!"

ok wtf.

So yeah anyway back to the topic.

There's this moment during my working break, I was like alone sitting and I started thinking about stuff.

Even dirty stuffs.

Which is why it is wise not to leave me alone even for a while if you went on a date with me.
lol.


WARNING: DIRTY CONTENT ALERT, PLEASE ABORT SCROLLING DOWN SEQUENCE IF YOU'RE EASILY OFFENDED BY DIRTY REMARKS






Now don't say I didn't warn you.

So yeah I finished all the episodes of Heroes, both seasons. And I had stop watching since.

But last night I was like asking myself questions.

And now I ask you.


Since Claire Benett has this ability to self-regenerate whenever she's hurt or torn her skin or something.
Does that mean she'll like re-virgin-ated after every rounds?

Sylar has this telekinesis ability, moving things with his mind without touching them.
Does that mean he can self-masturbate using only his mind?


Oh God.
I feel so dirty.

But you really can't blame me for thinking like that, I'm a super open-minded person who talks about anything under the sun.

But seriously though.
Can they?

lol.


This got to be my dirtiest post ever,
Lan

Tanning = No Way

Greeting to all humans of planet Earth.

I'm sure a whole lot of you had learn about how global warming is growing and how we should answer the call. We must do what we can to put an end to this, to decelerate Global Warming.

Save the world.
Save my skin.

I just had to touch on this.

Ayam said it's like her dream to see me tanned one day.
But to me, it's a nightmare to see my skin darkening each day.

I can take out my left eyeball and exchange it with my right's, turn my whole leg 180 degrees x-axis so I can walk backwards.

But tanning?

No way in hell I'm gonna do that.

But hell's hot and I might auto-tanned in there.
That is why I wanna be good boy and not go to hell.

A good boy.
A good 19-year old boy.
Who is fair-skinned.

Sometimes when I gave a thought about why people go tanning and such.
I could never understand them.

We are the white people, who shines with bright light in this darkening world.
We gives out light to those who are trapped in their darkening lives.

We are made white-asses because of our destiny.
To help people.


Anyway, no offence to people who goes tanning.
Maybe cause you guys too won't understand why I like to be white.

I guess it's because of my nature, loving to be different.
In Singapore, not many Malays are fair-skinned.

That is why I love to be white.
And even whiter if it's possible.

So I can live my life the brightest way possible.

Which is why I tend to admire fair-skinned girls.
They make my life bright.

wtf lol.

So yeah to those other than Ayam, who thinks I should go tanning and turn away from the light.
I will never go tanning.

One of the reasons why I keep running away from NS is because of tanning too.

I've heard and seen people coming out of their camps all dark and not fair-skinned as they used to be, that really freaks me out.

I just hope it won't happen to me.
If it did happen to me, I will break every mirror I see after coming out of NS.


I just love to be fair-skinned, I'm so thankful my mother eat lots bean curd and drink lots of soya bean milk when I'm still chilling around in her stomach.

She said that might be the reason why I'm fair-skinned.

So yeah to all who are pregnant with a child or something, here's my secret recipe.



Getting a fair-skinned baby

Ingredients: Soya bean milk, bean curd.

Directions: Force yourself to eat 10 or more bowls of bean curds a day, and drink 2 bottles of soya bean milk each time you finish your bean curd.

Side-effects: You might experience diarrohea(sp?) sometimes, but do not be afraid. It's perfectly normal.



There you go!


Mr Brightside,
Lan

You know it's gonna hurt sometimes, you know it's gonna bleed sometimes.

A proper entry.

Right.

While waiting for Heroes to load I shall do a proper entry to kill time, and to give time.

Get it?

Good.

And talking about that, I'm addicted to Heroes.

All I want is a normal life, to catch shows on my television and not missing any episodes on Heroes because I've heard it's a good show to watch.

But I've missed it since episode 1, I was destined to miss each and every episode till the day I can no longer take it.

And I had to watch it online.

And now, I'm addicted to it.

So I apologise now, if I'm beginning to talk like someone who acted in "Heroes" and scripts in there that I accidentally spat out.

Which is why I can't have a normal life. I have this so called ability to use the computer, surf the internet, and watch all the episodes I missed. This ability is given to me to do something meaningful, I'm destined to use the computer and go back in time to see episodes I missed.

Talking about that time-travelling guy named Hiro. heh.

So yeah to summarise things up, I was only trying to catch all the episodes I missed, since 1 till I don't know what.

And guess what.

I've already reached season 2, episode 4.

In three days, three nights without sleep.

It is my destiny to have insomnia, to use it for good purposes such as catching back things I've missed.

I knew I had this insomnia power, but until now, I know why I was given this gift.

To catch episodes.

So far I've never receive anything like "Save the cheerleader, Save the world."

But I've heard about "Save the nature, Save the world."

Now I need to cut an ex-smoker's brain open, study it and quit smoking, to save the world.

Oh wait I'm not Sylar.

And I bet he don't wanna cut my head open and acquire my insomnia ability.

You should know why yourself.

Ok ok fine let's cut this heroes crap and let's talk about what happened last night.

*Travels through time, approximately 9 hours back in past*

I met Khid at Simei MRT, cause Mel Fraps gonna have their so-called first jamming session, or perhaps my first jamming session with them.

Khid and me got a little lost upon reaching outram mrt.

Yes people, outram mrt. We're LOST but not on an island where polar bears or orang dayaks come chasing you down and locking you and bla bla.

If you know what I'm getting on about, good.
If you don't know, good.
As long as you find it lame, you're mentally alright.

Which is good.

Ok whatever, so we went in, practiced on our two songs we're currently so-called learning.

Well we guys were having a nice time, though I had a hard time trying to sing that second song without sounding as if I'm pulling out 15 inches shit from my asshole.

But it was ok, in fact I got pretty high and hyper.

Jamming makes me high.
And it raises my confidence level on my vocals.

YATAA!!

so yeah we jammed for 2 hours, even though me and khid were like almost an hour late.
I should have stop time if I knew, but I haven't really got in control of my time travelling powers yet.

At least if Hiro speaks better english, I can learn much more easier.

AH WTF.

So yeah we went to CT Hall, get some LJS tapau and go to that donnowad memorial thingy and sit there makan2 minum2 berbual2.

After that we went esplanade, lepak2 awhile then got home.

Easy story eh.

But it's a great day.

How long was it? 2 or 3 years since I last stepped into a jamming room?

Yeah, that's long.

Though I find it funny our drummer seems like a little too punk rock.

Just imagine, The Killers playing Blink 182 songs, yeah, like that.

Haha.


I guess that's goodbye then to ya mates.

We'll see each other again.
If Sylar didn't caught me first.


I think I can fly,
Petran Azrelli

Interesting Theory

THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY...


1 DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2 ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3 ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4 THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE!

5 I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6 WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

7 IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

8 IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9 IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10 WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

11 WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

13 IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

14 IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

15 WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

16 WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

17 ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

18 DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGE-BRA?

19 HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

20 IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO? (ONE CAN ONLY HOPE! FANCY CALLING IT A SPORT!)

21 IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

22 IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

23 WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?

24 WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

25 WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

26 IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

27 CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?


Sorry if I cracked your brains up, I'm just cruel at times. :)

NTUC: Nerve-Tensing Unknown Chats

Don't ask me what's about the title, just read through.

And I don't know why I'm suddenly so active in blogging, maybe too much events happening during da holidays.

Today's topic: The trip to NTUC Fairprice, Eastpoint

Okay, as usual, woke up late like around 3pm plus. What more can you expect from me in school holidays?

Sleep sleep sleep with no dreams.

Sighs.

Sometimes when I woke up, I'll try to think of something and sleep back.

Still no dreams.

Sigh.

Oh wait wrong topic.

Soooooo.

I went over to Eastpoint Mall to get some cat and human food, since my family went off to Malaysia for like 2-3 days leaving me all alone at home. Eh wait, with my dearest Yaya the cat.

meow!

So off I went to my first stop, NTUC fairprice.

Went in innocently, get a can of fancy feast ocean fish for Yaya, a carton of pepsi for friends coming over my house at night to thon, and colgate.

Innocently.

So yeah went to the cashier and queue up, and the two cashiers beside me was like having a chat with each other.

One is a makcik, aunty in malay for da donno ones.
The other is a chinese aunty, makcik in malay for da donno ones.

I was queuing innocently when I heard their conversation goes something like.

Chinese Aunty: Eh lend me pen.
Malay Makcik: Alamak u ah, everything dont have, nah lah. *give pen to CA behind my back*
CA: Nono, I got money.
MM: You got money? Eh money got two meanings you know, don anyhow say. *laughs*
CA: *keeps quiet, smiling*

"Eh money got two meanings you know"

There I was, innocently queuing to pay, and I staggered a little upon hearing that.

To those who wonder what might be the other meaning.

Money is pronounce the same way as "Mani", which means sperm/cum in malay.
Well maybe she don't meant it that way, like say something like a secret passcode or something that NTUC cashiers uses.

But due to the influence of human beings walking all over our planet Earth, I can almost confirm that she means it Mani.

Oh God.
She just had to say it.

That line automatically changed itself in my mind and goes.

"Nono, I got Mani"

For a second I was like looking at CA and wondering how her husband is like.
And I almost scares the shit outta myself when an apek appeared in my mind, grinning like a sex-maniac.

"I got Mani"

Oh God.

To think a Malay lady who looks motherly to me would say "Money got two meanings you know"

Sighs.

I can never queue up at Eastpoint's NTUC the same way ever again.

I was in luck I didn't actually bought snacks and stuff to eat just after I exit NTUC.
Their conversation seriously will ruins my appetite.

Though I don't know if the others in that line was thinking the same way as I do though.

Oh God.

Things like this just makes me wanna blog more.

And I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to people who comes here and finds my content's disturbing. I am a very open-minded person, and I can talk about almost anything. Even when I do talk dirty sometimes, believe me people.

I'm a good boy.
I'm a good 19-year old boy.
I'm innocent.

And I got Mani.

That shit's stuck in my mind, sheesh.

So yeah I went over to KFC to get some food and over to pasar to get some cigarettes.

And yeah when I got home, I didn't finish my KFC.

It's either because of my super low appetite or,

"I got Mani"

Oh God.

NTUC should be PG-rated soon.

Childrens walking around will be assigned to ear-muffs at whichever time they enters NTUC, those who fail to wear them will be fined.

And parents should never let their childrens be more than a meter away from them, or risk them go asking their parents,

"Mama, what's the other meaning for money arh?"


Drinking Mountain Dew,
Lan


P/S: Since I've been updating pretty hasty recently, please do check my previous posts to check if you have left anything behind. Thank you for visiting.

Take care mates. <33>

Best Birthday Ever? YOU BET!

Hello mates.
I'm severely affected with over-excitement.
Please be wary that this post might be disturbing to kids or people who are against vulgar languages.

I seriously can't wait to tell you the best part which happened to me yesterday, but for everyone's sake I shall.

*takes a deep breath*

SERIOUS SIA, IM LIKE SO FUCKING EX--

*takes another deep breath*
*lights a cigarette and takes a deep breath*
*coughs*

Okay, let's start.

*wipes tears of joy*

So let's start off with this morning.

Oh wait afternoon.

Woke up, do my basic duties as someone who's going out.

*takes deep breath again*

Met Ms Shika at school, I mean ex-school, alah senang2 cakap: ITE Macpherson.

Well I pass her my windows xp cd for her to reboot her comp and bla bla.

And my oh my.

Oh my god.

Oh god.

Oh no.

She brought my birthday present for me.

My first birthday present.

From that very first person who wished me a direct happy birthday even if she got my age wrong.

How sweet was that.

Oh god.

And to those who don't know me well yet.
I get easily touched.

So yeah I actually got fucking excited and nervous at the same time.

AND I MEAN IT, VERY VERY VERY nervous.

"Hey, happy belated birthday."

and I go

"omg thanks so much.. ahh we should hang out sometime yeah..ahh good luck for your exams..ahh take care.."

And I finally got my breathing back when she turned her back with her ponytail dangling.

And don't ask me why of all things, I said ponytail.

Told you guys I'm weird.

Oh god.

Okay enough about this.

So I went to meet Mel Fraps, and we went to a gig cause of us wanna watch The Sallys performing.

It was like me officially going to a first gig, no passing by looking to the side or whatsoever.

First performance, we stand with the crowd and watch.

Second performance, we stand at the back since we're not into punk that much, and that band is a punk rock band I guess.

Third performance: The Sallys

Went in the crowd.
And for the first time ever.

FIRST TIME EVER IN MY LIFE.
I DANCED WITH THEM.

Or was it skanking like they call it?
Ah whatever.

Yeah it's my first time, and I don't really know how to dance.
And I bet people there was thinking I was doing somekind of ACERS day exercise.

I was pretty hyper too, jumping up and down and doing my "exercise".

But I'm pathetic.
Seriously pathetic.

You know guys usually does their skanking and goes around bumping on dancing girls and they're like don't mind being touched or what.

I was like.

*Acidentally bumps onto a girl*
*Song finish*
*taps on her shoulder*

"Hey umm, sorry uh."

The girl was like "Huh? What for?"

"Terlanggar ah tadi."

translated: "Accidentally bump onto you uh just now"

And she went giggling with her friends after that.

Man I felt so pathetic.
But at least I'm being a gentleman.
lol wtf.

So yeah The Sallys also perform a song for a tribute to a death of my friend's friend. Who passed away on the 29th of November if I'm not wrong, just graduated with O' Levels.

Dear Rakinah,

Although we were in the same secondary school in the past, I never really knew you or talked to you. Though I remember seeing you around with your friends and stuff. It was a painful loss for people that knew you, and I feel for them too. I will, too, send God my prayers for you.

Rest In Peace my dear ex-schoolmate.


That's about it for the gig, I felt pretty weird dancing aimlessly while everyone seems to know their thing. And I was like spending the whole time apologising to everyone I bumped onto.

And yes, it was a great time being with you guys; Azhar, Roy, Hidayah, Sam and not forgetting Khid who went back with me on the train. Pasir Ris guy, what to do.


AND NOW, THE BEST PART.

eh hold on, i wanna go pee awhile.

ok back.

Well yeah I got home, and took out Shyqah's bday present to me from my bag. Opened up the wrapper.

Eh wait before I continue, on the birthday card, her own-made creative birthday card, she made a graffiti out of my name.

Oh god.
Oh my god.

And there's perfume on it too.

OH GOD.
I'M SMILING AGAIN.

anyway yeah, I resisted my overwhelming curiousity and slowly open up the wrapper.

and there I saw.

A MUG!

Man I was like only kidding with her bout getting me a bday present, and also about getting me something memorable.

And Ms (Thoughtful) Shika did just that.

So yeah I automatically fell of my computer chair and there I was, lying on my floor smiling.

The mug was filled with somemore gifts.

I took it all out.

Ferrerro Rochers.

Oh god.

Nescafe 3in1 Regular stick packs.

Oh my god.

Nescafe classic stick packs with coffee mates.

OH MY GOD

There I went, laughing and smiling like a retard with tears of joy coming out from my eyes.

I just simply can't control myself.

I was like overwhelmed with feelings I can't describe.

It's like happiness + touchedness + craziness.

And no, all this ness is not because of nesscafe alone, but to find out she actually knew my favourite chocolates and coffees.

Oh God.

I was like lying down for quite sometime smiling, and like keep repeating.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"
"oh my god"
"argh shika"

Let's keep it short lah.


It was the best gift I ever had
It was the moment I'll never forget
I can never express how excited I am
With all that smiling, I got my mouth cramped

THANK YOU SO MUCH DARLS!


and during the gig's second performance, da singer at one time goes "check out my matchin pipes"

suddenly i felt like smelling nescafe.

u noe i noe we noe why.

Take care my mates,
Over-Excited Lan

So if the answer is no, can I change your mind?

Tired.

Yes I'm so tired.

I've been assigned to do center-core at my workplace.

To those with a "WTF IS CENTER-CORE" bracket above their heads.

Unlike arrivals like I usually does, center-core is kind of the opposite. Instead of you taking out bags and throw them on the moving belt, this time you take out bags from moving belt and place it in the container.

Sounds easy huh?

You gotta arrange it.
Kamu hendaklah menyusun beg-beg tersebut di dalam kontainer itu.

Imagine the slots below is full, and you gotta carry those heavy bags up above your head and place it right at the top of all bags.

Fuck, I prefer throwing 20 over bags rather than carrying one and place it above.

Ok enough complaining. I want be strong boy and I do this to be strong boy so I can show people I strong like very strong liddat.

Though when I look in the mirror, it looks weird to have such skinny hands just up till my elbow, and there you go having a KFC chicken's thigh lookalike above my elbow.

No I'm not saying I'm muscular like that fucker in Mocca Ad that shows his hou..I mean body wearing underwear and posing with his ronald macdonald face.

I bet when he goes "Check out my matching pipes."

But in his mind he goes "Check out my branded undies, oh wait lemme give ya'all a side view of it too. Can see da topman logo?"

Or maybe "Check out my hump, my hump my hump my hump, my lovely manly humps. Check it out!"

Or just "Wanna be with a big hot guy like me in my toilet?"


I guess that's the reason he wants people to call his number.

And he even dare asking "Want to see more?"

Pervert.

So umm yeah I've gain some muscles, but still teeny-weeny ones that ants will go marching up my arm and saying things like

"Ahh, when you look to the front, you can see bukit timah hill."
"Eh why so white one ah?"
"You bodoh or what, christmas right, got snow."

Too bad their tour is short-lived, you should know why.

Humans nowadays tends to be very evil no matter how much they denies it. Killing innocent ants going on a tour with a slap of hand.

And I admit, I'm evil.
So do you.


cb why I keep going off-topic.

So ummm, yeah enough about working, I know it bores you guys cause you don't know how it's like.

Even going to the corner of your room, grabbing your bagpack and throwing aimlessly is not enough to understand what it's like.

OK LAN, STOP TALKING ABOUT WORK!

Fine Az. hmph.

Last Monday I went to school, for what's like the last day I'll be going there, with my group to hand in our final year project. Our Project Supervisor, Mr Lee Tong Seng seems pretty please with it. It wasn't actually complete, we have like our song, CD cover, Poster, and a report without much effort in it.

But he likes the song.

HURRAY FOR TONG SENG!

So after handup, we left to our own separate ways, with me going to work and.

Wait, nothing about work.

So umm yeah thats it.

The next day, Tuesday right? I met Hid and Sam at town, me and Sam were like some-kind of bodyguards accompanying Hid as she went shopping, from Far East, to Cineleisure(donno hw to spell la), and bugis, than back to tamps.

And FYI, this Hidayah also loves photo-taking. Why is that, every Hidayahs I knew, has this tendency of taking photos? Someone please register the word "Hidayah" into Oxford's dictionary.

Hidayah: Description of photography addict.

Yeah like that.

Anyway I thought when I've graduated, I'm safe from those nipple-pinching monsters like Maria and Nad.

But I was wrong.

I GOT IT FUCKING WRONG. (sighs, since when I like to use vulgar nie..)

Hid is one of those species.

Oh god, save my nipples please.

And damn, Sam n Hid just knew about my melatah habit.

Things wont be the same.

Can you imagine us performing on stage and one of them goes tickling me and I go.

"OH MAK KAU PUNYE ANAK KAU!" (fyi, my fav melata sentence)

heh, what's worse is how the crowd will react.

Crowd 1: *whispers* eh, what he saying?
Crowd 2: I think he saying this song is a tribute to our mums uh, and our children.
Crowd 1: Must be a family guy then, how sweet.


That's about it, plenty of things happen.

And tomorrow, will be my first time officially going to a gig, The Sallys performance.
Will be going with Mel Fraps.

But before that gotta meet Miss White-Ass Shika first, to pass her something and to wish her gd luck for exams. All the way from Simei to ITE Macpherson, and back to tampines.


"how sweet." - Quoted from Crowd 1, above.

Anyway, I have whiter ass than her, I think.
Sorry darls, I know you never actually saw this side of me, using vulgars and talking about asses.
But I'm still a good boy.
A good 19-year old boy.

It's just that I get carried away sometimes.

But I'm still a good boy.
A good 19-year old boy.

Btw don't forgot my bday present hor!



I got a feeling that's my crappiest post.
Or even, longest post.
But I hope it's entertaining.


If I have the chance, Would you let me know?
Lan

EDIT: And in case you're haven't notice, I'll seriously gonna stab you in the neck with my braces if you really don't.

I've changed my blogskin.

Yes babe, simplicity is me.

Well I think so.
And I've spent hours playing around with the custom-made html codes to make it more appealing.

If you don't like it, there's always that "links" part.
If you like it, gimme a "OMG SO NICE LA" on my tagboard.
If you love it,
Hug me.

I do hope Natalie Portman will come by my blog and love it very much.

Umm, it doesn't make me sounds like a pervert right?

The 19th, The best.

-------------------------------

So yesterday was Lan-Jiao's a.k.a Alan's 19 Birthday! Yeah, he turned 19 on the first of december. Pretty late uh.. haha So anyway, me, fiza and naz planned to surprise alan at his house. So I planned, fiza and naz became my useful helpers, really! haha I bet the surprise was a successful! :D Pictures are with Kuntet currently. We missed to capture those shots the moment we shouted 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' at his gate! hehe Member nye muka surprised + paiseh nk mampos! haha

So then Kuntet got to leave to meet her bf, so left the 3 of us plus DIL. Bday Boy planned to bring us to Alpz Cafe to watch the Chelsea match with the chelsea fans. We tagged along and the place was awesomely cool! Alan got another birthday cake from his chelsea's fan club too. I bet that would be the best day of his life! hahaha
-------------------------------

- Taken from Wawa's blog to summarise what actually happened on my birthday.


Yeap she was right, it was my best day of my life if not the best birthday I had. :D

That week has been the most touching week I ever had, with my ITE friends shedding tears since it's our last week being classmates prior to graduating, and of course my birthday celebration.

I was expecting another boring birthday, just sitting my room alone playing games and chattin over msn with mates. But until like 4 or 5pm, Naz who was with me mentioned bout going to his bike under my void deck to get something.

And fucker actually had his first Punk'd activity on me when he came to my doorstep later and I heard people going.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

There you go, at my doorstep: Wawa, Fiza and Naz smiling and laughing as my face kept changing. Hell I can't stick to a shocked expression, touched expression, or maybe even running to my room crying with laughter.

But the one running to room was my sister, apparently pissed off, or maybe just jealous she didn't get such birthday suprise from her mates.

And yeah I was pretty embarassed since my house was in a bad shape, messy is one thing but to find my mom's bra hanged on a chair, hell I even laughed at myself for that.

Yes to those who wondered why I went out of my house a short while, I had tears in my eyes, but thankfully I sucked it back in asap.

So umm, they brought me LJS combo 1, mini-cakes and Starbucks donno-wad toffee.

YES A FUCKING STARBUCKS DONNOWAD TOFFEE!

You guys really made my day.

Fiza left to meet her bf though, but I still appreciate for coming by to wish me a happy birthday. Hell I'm so touched.

Dil came too, maybe substituting Fiza. hoho.

Anyway I actually had plans to celebrate my birthday by going to Alpz Cafe, meeting the SGCFC club watchin chelsea match. And what a blessing, I now have 3 mates willing to follow me there.

So then we left da house, Naz went home first with his bike as me, Dil and Wawa took the train to Dhoby Ghaut and walk our way to Alpz Cafe.

Awesome place to chill.
Seriously awesome.

It was a tad too cramped, with like 50 over chelsea supporters there sitting around. And a few wishing me happy birthday Nescafe upon me coming in.

Ah heck let's skip these, I just wanna talk about my birthday.

So after the first half of that chelsea game, one of them asked me and another guy to stand by the birthday cake they prepared on the table. I'm guessing that guy also same bday as me.

Heck I'm not so unique after all.

So they sang da birthday song to him first, than to me.

50 over people, looking at me, singing to me.

heh.

I WAS LIKE TRYIN TO COVER MY BLUSHNESS WITH MY HAND COVERIN MY MOUTH AND MY MIND GOES

"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

= Mass Sins Commited in one Birthday Song

I really don't know what to do, I just raised both of my arms and im like clapping above my head.

hahahahaha

So yeah they asked me for my wish.

Lan: "Umm.. I wish that Chelsea will reach the top of the table.."

*everyone still quiet, fuckers wanted to hear me say more. fucks..*

"...uhh...AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"

*everyone goes crazy and clappy and cheery and yea, happy.*

The person beside me: "I wish Chelsea will be the champions in the champions league"

Fucker said lesser words than me and still receive the same treatment from the 50-over people watchin.

Nevermind, at least the thoughts count.

so I took the knife, and ask him to hold my hand, and we romantically cut the cake together.

there goes the crowd clapping and blabla again.

Birthday boy huh, and I only ate one slice of cake.

HAHA

so yea Chelsea won da match, what a day on my birthday.


anyway we left alpz cafe then, naz and wawa ride together on a bike to tampines while wawa tells me and dil to take a cab there, faster than mrt.

"take a cab there, faster than mrt." - Remember this


So yeah me and dilly happily walk through the streets and stop by what looks like a busy road filled with vehicles, and we try to get a cab.

from 10

to 11.30

no taxi stopped.

wawa called me and said she needs to go home already, so left naz.

12am, and finally we got cab.

Reasons for getting a cab: Dil mentioned she wans to repent her sins and be a good girl

Coinceidence?

I view it as "pertunjukan". I donno an english word for it..umm "Point"?

so yea anw we reached salihin at tamps, ate nasi goreng beef there.

we went hanging out at a void deck, while naz went home to change.

two police officers came by and took down our names. hahaha. but nothing much la just wanna see our age and what we doing.

and what we actually did was me giving riddles to dil.

lol.

naz came back, and we walked to simei, to hang out under my void deck.

we went home at 6am like that.


Again, this has to be my best birthday ever. I would like to thank myself, Wawa, Fiza, Dil, Naz, and all the chelsea supporters club for making this day happen.

LOVE YOU ALL!


Alamak next year become 20-cent liao leh,
Lan

Graduation part 1: A tribute, to all close mates of ITE Macpherson

To all my dearest friends I ever made in ITE Macpherson


Nizam Fadhli

You, my friend, is the only one I had when I felt like singing with company. I'll remember those days where we both will be singing to Linkin Park, Blink 182, Strokes and more, anywhere or even in the bus. You've always knew I never liked hip-hop or even RnB. But look at me Fad, just look at me and ask me why I had started singing to Beautiful Girls, Don't Matter and even Umbrella?

You influenced me.

I've heard so much about you, the bad, the good. But I never really had a problem with you really. To me, you are a great friend, a great company, and a great person to just hang out together and just talking crap all night long.

And remember how we worked together coming up for the song for Teacher's Day?
Yes Fad, those were the days I felt our friendship was like the song we created. With different tunes, yet it fits together perfectly.


Rozaimi

Remember recently I said you were irritating since you woke me up from my sleep almost everytime you called? I'll miss those times even though how much it irritates me.

You are one of the closer mates I have in class, always hanging out together even if it only ends up the two of us, we never stop talking, we'll never stop laughing. It's good to have a friend who has a fear for roaches too, like me. At least I won't be sharing the shame alone running 2.4km just after seeing a roach on the floor. heh.

And you never fail to make my day with your lame jokes, yet it still makes me laugh. I'll remember that you're probably the first person in our class to actually talk about bgr problems with me, and I appreciate that you'll even bother talking to me about it even though I never really had much to say.


Marianti

Heh, one of the malay girls I actually had a crush on during the first year when you look all decent and stuff, but when we started actually hanging out together. OMG HELL NO TO DECENT AND STUFF!

Don't go swearing yet, you were by far the best person I can talk crap with. You laugh at almost anything I'll say even when I'm totally lost what I've actually said that made you go bending down, laughing, with your hands swinging around. And I've always love your craps too, those "HAH TERRY?" and burps never fails to bring a smile if not laugh, to my face.

And don't go thinking your fat and stuff. Trust me, you're one hot girl I know.
You were also the cause of me going indie and stuff, I'll have to thank you for that.


Hidayat

A good person actually, if you knew him well like I do. Irritating is one thing, making a fool out of yourself is another. But tell me dear readers, who would do the craziest of things, even at your own image risk, just to make his/her friends laugh. I'll give you someone, yat.

And friend, you're a cool person to hang out with. Moreover, it's easy to ask him out just to lepak2. I said this before, you have a unique sense of humour, and it always comes when you didn't try to over exaggerate it. But dude, just be yourself.


Nadhirah

Loud girl. Simply young, pretty, loud girl. You are cute in a way, it's like every little things you do can sometimes makes me if not them, laugh. I never hated you in any way before, and from what I've seen so far about you, you're one hell of a kind-hearted person which many fails to see.

I'll miss annoying you and see you evolved into one hell of an orang utan gone berserk. I hope one day, you'll stop those piercings, dying, and make ups. You have that natural beauty, honestly.

Mashita

We were never really that close to me. But we did have times talking among the two of us and such. I never came by anyone so similar like you. You cared so much for your friends, for us, and that is something I highly respect you for. I'll remember how you kept telling us things like "Oi faster go school lah" and things like that.

And you brought my self esteem up, remember my hair?


Huda

Used to think you're one hotstuff, but well, apparently not so hot. :p You're like yat in a way, always sharing your life stories and such. I never really knew you that much, but hey huda, thanks alot for you-know-what.


Ashyqah

We never actually talk that much in school. Just sitting infront of our PCs and chatting over MSN yea? It's a pity we both starts opening up just when I'm graduating, I never actually knew you were good in talking crap too until recently. If not we may even start hanging out together talking all day long.

I apologise for whatever happened during the past, and I really hope we'll keep in contact.


Hidie

African-Marimba eh? That's how we met. I will treasure those memories we shared, especially during the fasting month where we'll stay all night on the phone waiting for McDelivery. It's a pity we're ain't close as before, it's even a pity I didn't had the chance to bid you goodbye. You were a great friend, to talk to and such.

I'll hope you and Zul will get together someday if not now, better off with him than mr fucker.
Fucker left you alone at your most depressed hours, I feel so sorry for you.

And you also made me realise that I can actually make songs, that I have to thank you. Those were the times.

I'll also hope one day you'll forgive me for all the problems I created for you.


Hidayah

You'll never know how much I regret for not mixing with you since the early days. You're a nice, cool, girl to be with. It's a pity we only started talking at the eve of my graduation. And I hope the plans for our band will be a success.


To the others I have not mention, especially my chinese friends


THANK YOU ALL for your company with me. Leaving everyone of you, my ITE mates, is the hardest graduation so far. We were like a family, not a single hour together there's no laughing can be heard and such.

And the teachers, you were the reasons for my interests in this course. I never thought 4-pointer will be given to me, until you guys gave me that motivation, so good that I enjoy what I'm learning.





I'll severely miss you guys.
I'll forever remember the times together.
I'll hope our paths will cross sometime later.

And I,

Love you people. More than you ever knew.


Tears in my eyes,
Lan