Fuck me?

Proved my point,

Focusing on my little mistakes and burning them big with exclamation marks.

If I'm like you, turning my attention only to the black dot,

I wouldn't have decide to give you opportunities to correct things back.

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Take note:

Your story is only based on you, what you did, said and me, what I did and said.

People don't know what I had to go through.

They don't know about my freaking psychological issues!

You, don't know about my psychological issues.

No, you don't!

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Anyone in the right state of mind,

Who is in close contact with you,

Will be able to tell that you have that psycho issues.

I remember telling you dwelling on it too much,

Will affect you mentally.

Overworking yourself worsens it.

There's a reason why I said that,

Because I partially know that you're suffering mentally.

And heck,

Do you even think I'm gonna go up to you and go "Hey I think you got psychology issues"?

It may be indirect,

But I know your mental issues,

Thus my actions to get that point through you.

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It's only based on one story. One-sided! What happened to your, "listen to both sides and then analyze"? huh?!

You just don't understand what's going on in my head.

You only think about your wants dude! Your wants!

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For crying out loud,

I'm the writer here,

Not the reader.

Even if you still want to force-apply that "listen to both sides" theory,

I put the sayings of us both in that entry,

I mean like really, who else is siding you right now and willing to clarify with me?

No one?

Stop complaining about something you don't even practice.

Yes,

I don't understand what's going on in your head.

That's why I had to call it off,

Prolonging it will only make us live an unhappy life.

I only think about my wants?

You didn't want to rush,

You "forgot" about the important decision you have to make.

But did I blast you all out for that?

Did I turned a deaf ear when it comes to the police case?

Did I just walked off everytime you begin about your past?

Or even,

Did I made use of you as pleasure, money, or company?

I never cared about your wants right?

So why are you even getting pissed off by the calling off if I was such a person?

All these while I stood by with words of wisdom,

With a shoulder for you to lean on when you're falling,

Still you said I never cared about your wants.

Bravo.

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This is exactly the reason why I don't involve other people in decision making esp in cases such as what we're in now. They know nothing. They only listen to one side!

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They only listen to one side because it's the only side available to them,

The other side refuses communication via hostility.

If they listen to one side,

They know something,

Again you're proving my point,

Dealing with absolutes.

If you don't even bother to voice out,

Don't complain that they only listen to one side.

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And yea.. what do you know about me? Only the present character.

Friends? They helped me? No!

Only my bestfriend did, that was only like two of my problems when I was in a freaking bad shape.

You only judge things literally.

Just shut the fck up and stop spitting things you don't know about me, esp the Natashah I used to be. You don't know THAT me, you GOON!

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Cheering you up, is a help.

Listening to your problems, is helping.

Giving you words of wisdom, is helping.

Avoiding subjects related to your mental issues, is helping.

It's you dear,

It's just you with your constant refusal to see the positive sides of things.

To appreciate the sincerity of the effort people put in,

No matter how little,

They bother because they care.

I judge to what I've seen and learned.

I spat things to what I've learned about you,

I may not know the past you,

Still I venture deeper into your life to pull that good person out of you.

The thing that changes everything was,

I failed.

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You have just made yourself a good example of a bad examiner.

Go around, telling your friends who don't know me, and then made them analyse things for you?

HAHK! Shows how bad you are at decision making. You're too dependent on others! TOO DEPENDENT!

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To be blinded when loving someone is a natural psychology effect,

I go around, telling my friends what we are going through,

What I am going through,

And gather analysis on potential outcomes there will be.

Taking it into account,

I weigh the positives and negatives and reach out for a decision.

While you only had one super fucked up relationship that you used it as a mode to see guys in negativity,

Without experiencing the real emotions when you're feeling for someone,

I had a handy where I got ditched,

I had one where religious issues were put into picture and everyone knows I made the right decision to get out of that relationship.

I apply my experiences to us,

You apply your experience to us.

If a guy ever hit a girl,

That taste will stay with him forever and the temptation to hit again is always there.

That was a theory I found truth while I listened to people life stories.

Knowing we already went through these kind of shits,

And it always happens,

You're so sure it will be a happy life for us?

I decided a No,

After letting myself vulnerable to risks while I gave in opportunities to you,

Thus,

Calling it off.

Bad at decision-making?

That's a suprise to hear from someone who went through a whole year of shits,

And still stayed right through thinking she could change things all by herself,

Instead of letting that ego down and actually listened to her friends who were trying to reach out for her.

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You have a mind of your own, nobody thinks the same way.

You have a heart of your own, nobody feels the same way.

They can only get the idea of what you're feeling.

Similar is not equivalent to same!

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Comfort comes in between people with similarities.

Nobody ever thinks or feel the same way as me,

That is why I let them come with answers to my life.

If they think the same way as I did,

How could I ever got out of this nightmare?

Brainstorms,

They exist for a reason.

Sociology,

That term exist for a reason.

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So use your thoughts, your feelings and make your own decision!

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Yes I used my own thoughts.

Yes I used my own feelings.

Yes I made my own decision.

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It's just a small issue and you had to make it as if it's such a big issue and blame me for your insomnia and paranoia?

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Your irony is killing me.

And I didn't blame you for my insomnia and paranoia,

In fact I blamed myself.

I only taught you that my paranoia is possible to be controlled by you,

But I didn't say it comes directly from you.

Get your facts right.

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IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND.

YOU, YOURSELF, DRAGGED YOUR MIND INTO THIS SHIT.

IF YOU HADN'T STARTED THE FIRE, I WOULDN'T BE BLASTING WITH FURY.

JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT BOTH OF US ARE AT FAULT.

FRIENDLY GOODBYE.

NO OTHER PARTIES INVOLVED.

WHO IS LOOKING AT THE BLACK DOT NOW?

YOU GET THAT?

GET WHAT I MEAN NOW?

BLACK DOT AND WHITE PAPER THAT YOU HIGHLY PROUD OF?

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First paragraph, good example how you're allergic to my honesty, and clearing things out. I grow fear to speak out of honesty to you because you kept thinking that I'm hostile with everything that I said, even when I'm not.

Second paragraph, and I thought you're the one who can't accept the fact that both of us are at fault?

You attacked me when I called it off,

You piled everything on me because it ended.

But NEVER admitted it was part of your doings.

Now I'm fucking telling you,

Both of us are at fault.

Third paragraph, an answer to that will be the both of us.

Depends on the frequency,

You're forever looking at the black dot.

While I see the black dot first,

And climbed out to the white paper next.

That is our obvious difference.

You stick with what happened,

I stick myself in what happened and go deeper beyond that to uncover reasons why it happened.

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Seriously man, you don't hafta rub it in and tell the whole world about it.

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Honestly I wouldn't,

If you'd stopped putting statuses on fb as if you're the victim.

And yeah,

You called me names,

And went "fck you!" on me.

So "nice" indeed.