The Malaysia Adventure

Back from KL 2 days ago.

Which is why I haven't been updating.

I'm making up my "no computer access for two days in KL"

God.
I can't live without internet.


Let me summarize up my KL trip first before getting long-winded.


The Bad

Bear with me for a little while as I double-click my nagging application.

No computer!

WHAT

No internet access!

THE

Water green color!

FUCK

Ice Nescafe O= 70% Tiny Ice Cubes!

-ING

No football matches on TV!

HELL

No viceroy menthol lights!

IS

No bolster in hotel!

WRONG

Can't sleep because of the supernatural and dad's snoring!

WITH

No one to talk crap with!

THIS

Bus so freaking cold!

WORLD

Butt cramped due to long hours sitting in bus!

(INSERT EXCLAMATION MARK)

No ps2 games to buy!

(INSERT QUESTION MARK)

No skinny jeans!

(REPEAT THE ABOVE TWO TILL SATISFIED)




The Good


Many fair-skinned slim decent-looking malay girls.

Cheap cigarettes.

Hotel pretty fun.

Shopping feels very easy on the wallet.

KL makes me feels like home in Singapore.

Cats.

Shopkeepers flirts with me as I talk with an American accent. (lol)



Ok done.

Reasons for stating the bad then the good is because of the Malaysians reading my blog.

Bad then good: They will hate me for a little while, then continue reading as their hate changed to love. So they'll love me in the end.

Good then bad: They'll love me for a little while, but further reading will anger them, which will leads to hatred, then to my suffering. As said by Yoda.


SO LOVE ME MALAYSIANS!


Now let's get on to the highlights.


Kuala Lumpur was the furthest from Singapore I've ever gone since 1988.
Melaka was placed second.
And Johor follows up just below Melaka.

We took a bus with other mak ciks and pak ciks.
Also a teenager who's of my age but we never ever talked.

Maybe because like the others,
He thinks I'm arrogant.

The bus ride was the torture of my life.

Sitting in the bus for like 4 to 5 hours with the air-con so low.
That I end up going back to singapore wearing 4 layers consisting of 3 long-sleeve shirts and cardigan.

On the first day, we went to Honey factory, some kampung thingy which have a big Kris model.

And tragically I can't remember what more.

But I do remember purchasing an "awet muda" honey.

lol.

Well it's for my face I guess.
Fucking pimples.

We get to the hotel at about 4pm.

So it's like hmm.

7am-4pm with 90% bus ride.

God.

The torture.


We are given two rooms,

My mother and sister took one.

And,

The big guys took the other.

I slept till 8, skipping the next stop that the tour guide bringing us.

So yeah like I'm all alone in the hotel sleeping.

Strange how a timid like me can survive.

But of course being alone means.



Camwhoring.


I called up my family, met at the hotel and went down in the night.

To swensens.

I ordered a happy mousie ice-cream.

This.





Happy mousie?

Is that even a mouse?

:/= Happy?


I've been using :/ each time somebody insults me.

And you're telling me it means happiness?!

I believe the waffles are meant to be the mouse's ears.

With a face like that, I felt so disheartened to dig my spoon in and eat it.

Cause all I know is

:/= Sadness/Confused/Bored

And to eat a sad mouse.

:/



Went chow kit afterwards, I bought two belts and a long-sleeve shirt, with another camo-version that has a hood.

Then went back to hotel.

Next morning went to chocolate boutique, I bought a pack of expresso-coffee beans coated chocolates.

While mom bought durian chocolates.
Costly but fucking nice.






Then we went for the most wanted to go place in the tour.

Nilai 3.

Or in english,
Cost 3.

Shopping was great there, lots of cheap stuff.

But no games.

:/

No wait that's happy.

:`/

Ok better.

So pretty much that's it.


And the trip back to Singapore was seriously disturbing.

Raining + Super-cold aircon + Bus ride

Even with 4 layers of shirts still got me shivering vigorously.

God.

:`/





Grand Continental Hotel






Outside Nilai Tiga

Strange But True Stories Of Myself

Before I'm going for a long 2 days overseas to Kuala Lumpur.

I would like to share something to you people.

Name it shameful, weird, stupid or whatever you like.
My self-esteem is too high for a phrase like "You're so GAY!" to bring me down.

The first story,
Which happens when I'm in the first year of Sec 4.
Go do your calculation to determine my age at that time, I just hate maths.


Sleeping With A Guy


Now before you start assuming things, I'll make it clear first that I'm still young and a little immature.
And there's completely no sex.


It happened during my secondary 4 motivation camp.
Two days and a night, just like how my KL trip going to be.
Cept I'm going with housemates rather than classmates.


It all happened in the night. (duh)
The boys of my class, some rather, shared a room with like 6 two-story beds.
And my classmate, who is more to the child-like type, told us that he can't sleep without anything to hug.

"Bolster. Yeah bolster. Why didn't they provide bolster."
I thought to myself.

The next thing I knew when I was lying down on my bed with a slight fever,
He came to me and said something like.

"Eh can I hug you when sleeping? I cannot sleep without anything to hug."

How I wish I can go back in time and give my younger side a screw in the head with my elbow for:

"Umm okay la anything."

So there I was, lying down facing the wall as he hugs me like a bolster from behind.

And we both sleep.

In the early morning one of the teachers came in our room to check how I was with my fever still intact.

A girl.

When I opened my eyes and saw her expression, the message was clearly seen.

"AHH GAYS! AHHHH GAYS! AHHHH MOTERHFUCKING GAYS!"

But I have to credit her for being so strong to keep it inside her mind and only uttering.

"You still sick?"

To keep it short, I was very thankful I didn't experience any anus pain upon waking up.

Lucky me he didn't do anything sexual towards me other than hugging.

God,
The thought of how he wrap his legs around me from the back simply begs my flamingo to fly out of my pants.

I swear I don't know what the hell is wrong with me at that point of time.
Like I said,

Immature.

Now that I'm 176cm tall and aging,
I told myself I'll never be a human bolster to any guys again.

No wonder fucking gays keep adding me up on msn and myspace.

Damn it.


The Timid Nightwalker


This happened in my Secondary 1 camp,
Sentosa.

I can't remember if it was the first or second night but all I remember it happened in Friday Night.
Which is believed to be a day where ghosts does overtime.


The first walk was pretty okay.

I just had to pair up with an all-nonsense mouth human through the first nightwalk.
And I really felt like biting his ears off when he keeps repeating,

"No ghost lah! Why so scared sia! Got ghost meh?"

Cb.
I'm so timid that at the mention of "ghost" in the night will get me looking up down left right and behind.

There.

I just did it.

So yeah we got through the first round.

There was this break where we sat in rows of two for the head-counting part.
The instructors got angry because we failed to shout out our numbers loud for them to hear.

And there was I thinking what the fuck is wrong with them,
Everyone was like doing their job well but they kept asking us to repeat.
Over and over again.

On a side-note: Friends told me that because the instructors kept asking us to repeat because there was an extra headcount.

You know I know We know what's up with that sentence.

*Looks up down left right and behind again*

That's should be the reason why the instructors suddenly yelled out loud:

"Stop playing around lah!"


Scary huh.

So anyway the angered instructors ordered us to do solo night-walk to the "surface".

Me, being the most timid guy,

Feign blackout.

lol.

I stood up, walk to the instructor nearby while acting dizzy and stuff and said something like

"Sir, I'm having headache ah.."

And immediately he carried me up his back and kinda run through the path where the solo-nightwalkers are walking.

Like an ambulance without wheels as he switch on his alarm.

"Move away move away!"

My acting that I almost fainted works successfully.

He lied me down at the surface and give me water.

lol.

Then he called my friends to come help me up to our room and got me to see the lights to avoid "fainting".

Until now my friends never knew it was fake.
Until they read this.
Which I don't think they would.

Skipped a solo-nightwalk.
Got on a express bus out of the freaky forest.

Yay for mediacorp potential!



I have more stupid stories up my sleeves, but I need to get some sleep.
My Titanic ship to KL is departing in 5 hours, and I still have not pack.

heh.



The Bad, Eye-Liner Days,
Lan

The Update

God.




Again.
From time to time.

I've been pressured to update my blog.

Frankly speaking I don't really have anything nice to talk about.
Activities has been pretty low these days.

Work,
Work,
And,
More Work.

Sheesh.


Amazingly Nescafe failed me, which is my warm-up drink I had to update my blog.
So I'll get high and be retarded.

See? I don't need no alcohol.

Crap.

So I went asking my MSN contacts about what I should talk about.
Since I desperately have no idea what to talk about.


First Victim: Shyqah Petrelli



Not too helpful yet.




Since I'm a man of my word, I will talk about Nescafe and it's effectiveness.

Nescafe Gold:

Keeps you awake.
Easier to study upon consuming.
Gets you hyper.
Increase the creativity level on your mind.


Nescafe Mocha (The 6 packets in a box version):

Love the taste so much, especially the chocolate powder for the topping.
Makes you feel relaxed.
Happier.


Nescafe 3in1 Regular:

For the lazy-bums.
Gets you mini-hyper.
Increase the creativity level on your mind.
Keeps you semi-awake.


There.

Fuck it man I don't even know what I'm on about.

The same I don't even know how Ikan Bilis somehow became a topic between us.






Oh by the way she was referring to my fishy dp.

This.




I don't know if it's just me,
But that ikan bilis looks supernatural.

It's so big that if I were to straighten it up, the length will be almost the same as my index finger.

And it makes a fantastic earring for Project Runway too.


So just when I'm taking a break.

One of my favourite talk-cockers came to my rescue.

Well, sort of.

Victim 2: Miss Bloated





Ok fine, I'll be good.

I really miss talking to you guys.

But fear not,

One of these days I will finished my busy schedule and have more time to crap.
And talk-cock.


Like this.




lol.

I may just find myself giggling when I walk down the wet market and saw cucumbers.
All of the makciks and pakciks will look no more than a sex-toy seller then.

Someone please kill my imagination.


So now onwards to reality.

I will be leaving for overseas this weekends for a pretty long time.
Do wish me a safe journey and all, I really need that.

Sheesh.

To be so far away from home, I'm really gonna miss Singapore alot.
But I'll be back in two.


I need to spent two fucking days in KL.

God.

I hate travelling.

Unless it's Germany I'm going.

Well my family always travel to Malaysia from time to time.
But I'll always give it a pass and stay at home with friends.

So this time,
I will go.


I want Ice Caramel Machiatto.

Yeah random, I know.

Darn I really can't use my mind right now.

Fuck it.
I'm gonna watch football match.

I will come back and do another update before departing to the far-reaches of KL.
But no promises.



I'm gonna fucking miss Singapore,
Lan

Cyber Sex

We all heard about Cyber Sex.

But do we know exactly what is Cyber Sex?

Do you ever had any experience with it?

Do you even know what it involves?

This, my friends,
Cyber Sex defined in Wikipedia.

Cyber Sex




Interesting isn't it.
Now, never underestimate the power of imagination.

So let's pretend I haven't actually read the description and I had to give my own.

About Cyber Sex.


What is Cyber Sex?


The ability to let your hardwares mate?






No, not really. Cyber Sex is something that you control.
That you "feel", no matter how retard it sounds like.

I used to be a hardcore gamer, trained in the world of MMORPG where all kinds of Cyber Sex exists.

WoW, Guild Wars, even Maplestory, you named it.
I saw it, and I did it once or twice out of curiousity.

But I assure you I didn't touch myself.
In fact I was laughing at my own character for looking so idiotic doing some humping.

It all starts out with a date.





(Lol sorry Leon for using your character.)


Then you start molesting random cyber girls for your own masturbating pleasure.
Even when the sex-camera caught you.






And retardedly, it makes you high.




FYI, those are all my characters and doings in Guild Wars.

The reason for me doing such stupid stuff is because of some screenshot competition I participated.

And won. =D


Anyway back to Cyber Sex in games.

I had seen people, I mean in-game people, who will pay for Cyber Sex.
Not real money though, in this world, it's call Gold.

One random girl will dance in lingerie and spam the chat box with messages like:

"1K for cyber, anyone?"
"Wanna sex?"

Or just plainly

"WTS BODY!"

WTS means Wants to Sell by the way.


So yeah some idiots will then pay these dancing girls and go behind them, under them, around them.
Enter some commands like "/drum" "/dance" "/guitar".

And then they'll look like pornstars.

With little clothes on.


Some even does strip tease for gold.


If you think that's disturbing enough.


Gays does exists in the Cyber Sex world.





lol.

I was in luck I caught them with clothes on and just plainly dating.


I also did try to attract Cyber Gays by doing some sexy dancing in town asking for gold.
Just as a plain research, no touchings of myself.

I do it for gold,
And I get this.





More gays.


Of course there are many definitions of Cyber Sex as Wikipedia stated.
But just so you know, it exists in games too.

I'm giving you a heads up if you gonna get into a MMORPG thinking the worst people in there are mainly hackers.

Wait till you see asshole-stabbers.

Thank god I'm out of it already.



And if you guys felt like your flamingo is trying to fly away from inside your pants when you see this.






Place it in boiling water for an hour, then severe it.

And never play the same game as me.



It exists in Maplestory too,
Lan

Back from work, On to net

Cb.

I got up from sleep innocently this morning.
Getting to my computer seat to check out emails.
And I got a fucking call from some Modeling Agency.

Cb.

A girl with forceful-english-slang talk to me about coming down there for what fuck.

Cb.

I remembered it was like 2 months ago when one of their "hunters" caught me and my friend and asked about some modeling agency.
Being an ass I am, I gave them my name and contact when they asked for it.

Knnccb.

And today morning was the second time they called me up,
But of course I made up an excuse not to attend it.

Fuck I don't wanna become another mocca model doing some house advertising or whatever shit.
And I sure don't wanna become the next FHM model hugging some girl with bunny ears while looking high.

Just leave me alone you idiots.
I'm too skinny, too pimply, too metallic on the teeth to even considered an average model.

All I want is a normal life.
Listening to my iPod while playing winning eleven on my ps2.

Boring.

Boring is when you stayed at home all day playing games and surfing net.
Boring is when you only went out just because you're working.
Boring is when you woke up only to find it's the time that people goes to sleep.

I changed my mind.
I want an extraordinary life.

Fuck I'm talking so much nonsense today.

All because of some modeling agency called me up,
Made me suffer severe nightmarish imaginations of me posing naked with my flamingo on the table.

Oh god.

Give me the pills.
I'm thinking too much again.

Or maybe I'm just tired from work.

lol.

Next time story la k,
Lan

I can't believe I'm doing a stupid thing like this.

Hello suckers.

Lan ain't got time to do this sick stupid work of blogging.

So for today,
I shall take his place and do this stupid hobby of his.

If you don't know me yet,
Or forgotten me because I'm just too special to remember.

Then I shall waste my fucking time on you suckers to introduce my special identity.

As Lan calls me.

I'm Lanny the Arrogant Buddy.




There's no need to mention how sexy I look in that photo.
I've known it all along.

In fact I know every suckers like you out there trying to be like me and come out with poses like these on the net.

But failed miserably.

I'm special.
Get over it.

And I have my rights to believe no one can touch their nose using their upper lips the same way I can.

Maybe similar.
But never enough to be special.




In fact, I'm so special even to Lan himself.
That he even bought me a gift and knelt down so for me to accept his offering.

Well his offerings sucks like everyone's,
And it's a major disgrace for me to even accept it.

But I shall be kind to my own buddy.
And accept his gift.

Fuck.

I meant offering, to the Special One.




The reason why I'm only showing you half a pair.
It's mainly because I'm sick of everyone being a copycat.
Wearing both shoes with the same design on it.

They could have worn another shoe or at least color on their other foot.
But they choose not to.
I will tell you why;

They wanted to be as special as me.

Suckers with malfunctioning brain that can't understand the term "Originality".


Talking about brains.
My brain is too hardworking to just simply shut down and get me to sleep.

My special brain.

I haven't gotten any sleep since last night.
Especially with the lift construction in the morning.

But that's nothing to me as you can see.
I'm even blogging and I bet you don't even see any fatigue involved in my post.

That's because I'm not even close to the word "weak".
Unlike everyone, who was the cause that the word "weak" is even registered to the dictionary.





People complains when they didn't get enough sleep.
But just look at me.

I'm still fucking sexy like non-other even without any sleep.


So I spent my important day going out with ex-classmates of mine.

Well I must say it's fun.
Laughing around and such.

Laughing at them for making a fool outta themselves was really an enjoyable sight.
Knowing that they didn't even realised it was even a better laughing stock.

lol.
Suckers.


Now I shall take my leave from this retarded place.
Where every suckers in the world somehow gets to the tagboard spatting nonsensical phrases of pure idiocy.

Get a life.

But don't expect it to be special,
Lanny the Arrogant Buddy

A great day off.

Shopping.

Shopping makes everyone happy.

Shopping makes everyone's pocket unhappy.

Shopping is a way to upgrade yourself with new stuffs.

But shop legally of course.

I shall rewind the time to 11.59pm and pause it there so I can talk about it using "Today".


11.59pm,
Lan's Headquarters


Insomnia really fucks me up.
I got to sleep at 2am forcefully, drowsing myself with running nose tablets.
Only to wake up at about 5am, with my mind refusing to shut off.

I almost got to sleep at about 8am and there, the lift-construction begins.

10am, almost went off to dreamland only to be woken up by mother.
Going ICA building to re-make my passport.

This is why I hate sleeping disorders.
This is why I hate Simei not being as peaceful as it used to.
This is why I hate travelling.

Now everything in the ICA is just plain boring.
I shall skip them all and talk about the outing with talk-cocksters.

Or better known as TCS.

Fareha, Fizah, Naz and Me.

Nice outing to town I'd say,
And plenty of funny conversations I had with them.

The first was perhaps:

Lan: Eh I want to buy Hi-Cut ah.
Fizah: New one or continue?
Lan: Huh?
Fizah: You want new one or continue? Hi-Card right?
Lan: HUH?
Fizah: Hi-Card for phone right?
Lan: *laughs and go telling everyone about it*

Oh confidence.
It makes one becomes a laughing stock.
lol.

So I bought a levis hi-cut sneakers and khaki.
About time I found a substitute for my current hi-cut that has holes in it and makes walking in wet surface results to in-shoes flood.

It makes me feel bad.
It makes my socks smells bad.
It makes my walking style bad.

So, hurray to me.

We visited LJS (Me and Fareha's meal), BK (Nazri and Fizah's meal).
Then we got to starbucks.

Oh.
Caffeine.
*Ends sleepy mode and enters the crap*

We got a good time chilling there, making riddles and jokes with the help of caffeine to intensify my active contributions.

"Why do ants stop when they meet each other?
Why do elephants keep shaking their head?
Why do horse keep standing on two legs with it's fore-legs moving vigorously?"

Thanks Nizam Fadhli,
It's a good one.
Even if it's second-hand.

And I got home in time to watch Chelsea's match.
Oh Anelka.
You must be the chosen one.

Yeah I know this entry is rather dull.
I'm sleepy and all.

So, gute nacht mates.

Fuzzy Wazzy likes swimming, but hates to swim,
Lanny

Many. Different. Stories.

Hello mates.

On this entry, I will touch different, unrelated topics that I feel is useful in many ways.

To make you laugh.
To make you sensible.
To make up for the time I went off to life and forget blogging.

Let's just say I'm not really in the mood these past few days.

But fear not.

I am now,
And Nescafe's just in front of me on my desk.

Anyway I will talk about:

Alien vs Predator 2 and how much it sucks ass (SPOILERS ALERT!)
Talking cock session that results me knowing how dirty I can become in MSN
Jason's touch on Minahs and Mats in his blog


Now, dirty stuffs first.
Cause I find them funny.

If you haven't, do visit "Nura Papaya" blog link at the side.

It's the one with the longest all-text entry from her.
Or at least I thought.

So to those people who fucking feels I'm arrogant and I only socialise with marching ants,
And cats.

Read that entry and feel ashamed of what you never saw in me.

But don't feel I'm a pervert though.

Or I'll be hurt,
Then I will be in no mood to blog,

I'll end up deleting my blog,
I'll start curing my boredom to healthy dosage of porn.
I'll become a true pervert,
Trained in the arts of watching and doing porn.








You wouldn't want me smiling to you like that.

So don't hurt me.



Next, I would like you people to have a read about Mats and Minahs, and how some guys cheated girls mainly for sex.

You may say you know how to protect yourself and bla this and bla that.
But face the fact, you will never understand what could be going in guys' minds,
Or should I say, most.

Read about it by clicking "Jason Critician" link at the side.
And by the way his and Dilly Padi's blog are the most entertaining ones I ever come across.
So do visit them often.


Now.
Alien Vs Predator= Requiem.
Or AvP2 if u lyk short forms.

And why you should not watch it.

The reasons why I had to watch it because I find Aliens cool,
Or better known as Xenomorphs since Aliens can mean several other beings.

Now don't go telling me things like how Predator is cool and how one Predator can own the entire Alien's nest.

Look at it this way: Predators have weapons that made them powerful.

While Aliens, are weapons by it's nature.

Acidic blood, Spiky-tail with blade at the end, Sharp teeth and class.
Heck even it's tongue have a mouth that can kills people.

And I find Predators are uglier when they showed their face compared to Aliens.

But I admit though I find predators cool too,
Just that I'm more bias towards Aliens.

lol.

Now let's get to the insults.

This is Alien.





Meet Mr Predator




The newbie,

Kuwagamon,
I mean, Predalien.




Predalien looks fucked up to me but I will take back my words if you somehow finds her cool or sexy for some reasons.

But I shan't judge her from the looks.



SPOILERS WARNING!!!!!!






Now what's exactly so bad about this movie that it pisses me of and makes me regret opening up my wallet, going out late at night, and only to come back thinking I could have done better with 10 bucks?

To summarize it all up,

Bad storyline,
Bad acting,
Really bad dialogues
Bad Predalien design.

And worst of all,

They made a 9mm pistol looks like Superman punching Alien's head.

You gotta be fucking kidding me man.

By making Alien be hurt from a 9mm is totally discriminating the Xenomorphs themselves and Aliens fans like me.


Oh yeah anyway, there weren't as much action as in AvP itself, which I find better than AvP 2 in many ways.

Even though it still sucks.

I can never forget about that honorable warrior who tag with a human, even making free tattoos on her face.

Especially that part when they ran together side by side.

I almost thought they will start kissing in the next scene.





THANK GOD IT NEVER CAME!


But to focus on the positives,
They have a few good parts that deserved a mention.

One will be that "suprise death".

You see, Mr Predator was fighting with Alien.
Then he threw out his smart-disc, those razorblade disc thingy.

It slices through the Alien.

At the same time, the group of people finding ways to escape that town were running down room to room.
The girl who's supposed to be one of the important actors suddenly fly up to the wall.

I almost thought Sylar from Heroes was in the scene.

But I examined it and it turns out the stray Predator's VCD caught her in body and threw her sticking up the wall.

The good part ended abruptly when her boyfriend starts chasing down Predator out of anger shooting at him like crazy.

He got so close to getting killed (And I really like that annoying boy off the movie asap) when Alien came out from nowhere, caught the predator and falling down the lift, umm, lift space.

Whatever it's called.
My english ain't good.

Oh by the way, did I mention there's only one Predator in this movie?

Well what you expect, these Yaut-Jas (I think that's what they're called) are like trophy-hunting species, also known for their honorable hunts.

That's why we keep seeing Predator walking alone except for maybe AvP.

Predalien is pretty funny though.

There's a scene where she french-kissed a woman to implant eggs.
I literally lol-ed at that one.

And remember the phrase:

Whoever wins, We lose.

In AvP2, it's Whoever wins, We still wins (insert smiley face here)

That fight between Predator and Predalien, was cut short when some guy release a bomb that kills the whole town, even those two most important characters.

My final word, this movie sucks.

Rating:

Storyline: 3/10
Dialogues: 1/10
Humor: 1/10 (They made fucking lame jokes)
Action: 6/10 (I love the part Predator plants some laser traps that cuts anything that goes through, But Aliens are smart enough to use another passage =D )
Actors: 2/10


If you people still want to go watch it, by all means go ahead.
Don't say I didn't warn you.


I bet they got the Predalien design from Digimon,
Lan

I need to get some sleep grrr.

This is for all Polytechnics' initials in Singapore, taken from local chelsea supporters forum

SP----Sure Problem

NYP----Now Your Problem

TP----The Problem

RP----Really Problem

NP---- NO PROBLEM

Coming from a student in NP, you can't really blame him for this biasness and lists NP as "No Problem"

Now I shall change it.

NP---- New Problem

There.
Now bow down to me for making everyone feels equal.

And talking about Poly, I'm going over to Temasek Poly for their open house this Friday.
I'm looking for candidates to go with,
So do register at my tagboard.
Thanks.


Alright enough about Poly, I'm still waiting for my fucking NITEC certificate before I can apply for one.

I haven't get enough sleep.

Well I should actually.

Last night upon coming back from work, I was surfing the net awhile and playing my ps2
Waiting for the best time to strike the bed,
Which is 3 or 4

Don't ask me why, I just love the numbers.

Just before I hit my shutdown button at 4,
Mr SP suddenly msned me that he wanna meet me up.

I was pretty annoyed actually and said I'm going to sleep,
But after mentioning he had love problems and such,
I gave it a second thought.

So I met him up with Roti and Pepsi (hey it rhymes!)
And then he started talking about it
Complicated yet interesting story I guess, involving about 4 persons of different standings.
So I'm like giving him some advices and what not to do.

But as usual, we started talking crap then.
Well whatever makes him happy.

So yeah we left my void-deck at 5 plus, but I got to sleep in like, 7 till 10.
Why can't I just stay asleep?
Oh god.

Anyway it's good to know you came to me talking about your problems
In fact I don't think we'll ever sit down talking about things like this, just crap and crap all the way.

I just hope I've been a help.

All the best, SP boy.


And btw people,
I've injured my right ankle yesterday at work, heavy bag dropping and hitting it
Making me hopping around like a kangaroo learning how to somersault.
It stills hurts right now.

Fucking hurts.

Send me get well soon cards yeah mates?

Thanks in advanced!


Eating Murtabak Maggi,
Lanny

Answers, please.

I know, I know. I've been doing updates too often lately.

But put the blame on yourself for not entertaining me on MSN
Resulting me to talk to my own blog for the sake of killing my boredom

But it gets pretty fun when I reread it though.

lol.


I have a question that I need people to enlighten me up with answers.
A very important question.
Before my cat gets killed.


Why is "making love" called "making love"?

I discussed it with Fizah and Wawa but am still searching for a pleasing answer.

I don't get it really.

If you're in love with someone, and that someone also has the same feeling towards you
Why do you need to make love?
Heck can love even be made?

In my opinion it should be called "making lust"
Think about it, pleasuring yourself from sexual desires with your lover.
Ain't it lust?
Lust for a woman's body, lust for pleasure.

Why can't people stick to the word "Sex" or "Making babies".
"Make love" makes no sense to me at all
I don't see people forcing others into love by "making love" even if they're unwilling

So why, "Make love"?

Now, my so-called research on why use the term "make love"
Participants for project "make love": Me, Wawa, Fizah


The first result

(11:16 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	why make love is called make love ah
(11:16 PM) Sheee-bum!:	MAN
(11:16 PM) Sheee-bum!:	this is gg to be fun if shila's here
(11:16 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	ya lor
(11:16 PM) Sheee-bum!:	cause she loveeeeeeee to talk abt this
(11:16 PM) Sheee-bum!:	man

As you can see here Shila,
Wawa clearly does not mean it when she ask for my forgiveness due to your open nature
In fact she uses your "ability" to make dirty topics come alive
But it's fun though lol

Wawa then run away from this question as she puts her friend Fizah
To answer my sexciting question

(11:36 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	fiza u made love bfore rite
(11:36 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	y make love is called make love
(11:37 PM) ((= Hafizah:	wat aku again
(11:37 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	fareha suro aku tanye ko
(11:38 PM) ((= Hafizah:	u go ask someonde else
(11:38 PM) ((= Hafizah:	aku busy
(11:38 PM) ((= Hafizah:	*runs away too

What fiza meant by "u go ask someonde (ondeh2?) else" clearly hints that you
Shila
Should be responsible for answering this "tough" question


But Wawa came back with an answer

(11:38 PM) Sheee-bum!:	when u make love with ur partner
(11:38 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	okok gd
(11:38 PM) Sheee-bum!:	u need PASSION
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	u need the MOOD
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	u need the desire
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	u know
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	alah paham2 kan je la
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	so to fulfil ur DESIRE and improve ur passion on SEX, u need to make loveee.
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	LOVE
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	cause u love the person, u love the watever u name it
(11:39 PM) Sheee-bum!:	LOVE

(11:41 PM) Sheee-bum!:	this require both parties to lvoe one another
(11:41 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	if love liao
(11:41 PM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	y make love
(11:42 PM) Sheee-bum!:	u want to make something out of love

Very helpful indeed.
But I didn't get any idea.
lol.

We kinda sidetracked off abit
But I got them back on the field

(12:07 AM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	anw
(12:07 AM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	back to make love
(12:07 AM) ((= Hafizah:	wat
(12:07 AM) ((= Hafizah:	wat.. lom abes ke
(12:07 AM) Sheee-bum!:	OK lets share something
(12:07 AM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	can it b called make lust instead
(12:07 AM) ((= Hafizah:	cannot
(12:07 AM) Sheee-bum!:	what's ur ideal making love place?
(12:07 AM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	since its a lust to go for womans body
(12:07 AM) Nescaf3/Lan }-{:	for pleasure

Ok people avoid acknowledging what wawa said
Haha.

That's pretty much sums up all for my research
But I still haven't got my answers

Let's see if Shila is as dependable as they insists

That's all for now
But it ain't ending here


Coming back for more,
Lan

Looking back to 2007, and Workplace's happiness

Hello mates.

For this (still special hor) entry, I shall examine my life and how much it has changed. Not to mention something awkward happened at work.

A long time ago in the year 2007,
There was a boy name Lan.
He's fair-skinned,
And he still is now.
lol.

I've learnt alot of new things last year,
But I'll briefly explain some.

January or February 2008,
I've started back smoking after a long time quitting.
That was a mistake, cause I can't quit now.
Not by myself, at least.

I saw the wider side of planet Earth,
Fortunately all of them are not supernatural findings.
I mixed with different type of people,
White, black, brown, you named it.

And how I opened up to the fullest extent with them.
I never imagined myself being that noisy.
Especially when they start tickling me and I go spouting random nonsense.
But it's fun though.

I also learned that I can not only do poems,
But songs too, thanks to Hidie for bringing that side of me out.

Then as we approach the end of the year,
I was "hired" to a just-born band as a vocalist, something I've always dreamed about.
We named ourself Mel Fraps, I really love them alot.
Not just because it's named after caffeine though.

Oh and yeah I kept my hair to a length I never did before.
And I started to love my natural hair, being curly and stuff.
But hey, people said I look eurasian with it.
That makes another reason to avoid NS.

I had my first working experience,
It's very pleasing to open my wallet now.
I love my job,
The sabah workers there,
And apeks.
They're cute in someway.
No worries though, I won't be going gay with them.


That's about it, for the favourite year of James Bond.
For 2008 entry, I shall continue where I left from.

Work.
Again.
lol.


So last night is my pay day, also nicknamed "happy day" by me because I love money.
Heck who doesn't.
But happy not happy still have to work cause I'm on the schedule.

6pm-1am.
Thank God I managed to have a burger king before coming to work.

I had many breaks today, some being even till an hour.
Pretty boring, since I had literally nothing to do.
That's when it kinda hit me as I was singing.
Melody came up out of nowhere in my mind,
And I recorded myself singing the tune,
Then write down the lyrics.

A new song.
Yay.

It's only a draft looking for perfection.
A ska song.
Hid, you gonna like it.
Hopefully though.

lol.

So enough about work and songs,
Right to what I meant by,

Workplace's happiness.

Cheesy, I know.
But it's leaning more towards "MENYAMPAH!",
I assure you.
Read on.

As I was getting changed in the locker room, one of the workers approached me.

Translated from malay: "Eh got any nice videos at your hp?"

If you don't know the meaning of "nice videos" used in the world now.
Thank me for my explanation:
It means Pornographic Videos.

That's right, naked people playing wrestling on the bed.
Humping and screaming like psycho killers getting bit by a red ant.

Anyway the conversation continues.

Lan: "Don't have uh."
Him: "Scared your girlfriends see ah?"
Lan: "I don't have girlfriend."
Him: "HAH? Handsome like this no girlfriend?"
Lan: "Ya lah, teeth still got metal2." (braces)
Him: *smiles*

So the keyphrase for today is...

Him: "HAH? Handsome like this no girlfriend?"

Let's analyse that sentence using pictures of myself I took when working,
But taking a break in the toilet.


First picture.





Some parts of my hair tilt upwards,
Eyes look tired,
And not to forget I didn't look that fair here.

This can't be the reason why he find me handsome.


Next pic pls.






I wear a cap each time I started working, to carry bags without fringe irritation.
Notice how confused my hair is,
It looks like a magnet that can't differentiate where is South and where is North pole.

And I look angry, somehow.

So again this can't be the reason.

What if I were to compare with another fellow worker of mine.







There.
I did my sexy pose.
I did my girly smile.
And I stood beside a sabah man.

The only difference I can see is I'm fairer and taller.
Skinnier too.
And he looks like John Claude Van Dam (donno hw to spell haha) from the back.
Automatically it makes me un-handsome compared to him.


Well maybe if I were to accept his compliment,
That means I need a reasonable answer for his question too.

Him: "HAH? Handsome like this no girlfriend?"


I'm not the typical boy who goes around asking numbers from girls.
It makes me feel as if I'm giving them a bad impression of me,
Something like "no shame".
Well I know how shameless I am,
I just hate to sound desperate.
Which may be the reason why I'm still single, reaching to two years.

The girls I had crushes on,
We never made it.
I can do poems, do songs for them.
But I find myself lacking that firepower to make relationships happen.
And by firepower, I'm not talking about sperm-gun a.k.a boy's winkie.
In fact I'm still a virgin, and the girls I like are all decent enough not to ask things like

"Eh how good your 'firepower' ah?"

That's random.
lol.

So yeap.
I suck at love life.
I might be romantic as some people put it, lol.
But I lack something I still don't know about myself.

If you're gonna tell me things like,

"That's because you too fair! Go tan!"

Read this as many times as required till you're out of breath and can't speak anymore.

"STFU"


Maybe I'll wait.
Heck.
I don't know.
Fuck let's stop talking about love life.

I love my mom's maggi murtabak.
It taste nice.
I woke up my mom just to eat it.
I'm not nice.
haha.


White-Worker Excitement (WWE),
Lan