Pre-2009 Headlines

[some code that makes this look flashy="1"] NEWSFLASH!!! [/blabla]





An Alaskan in his 20s was brutally beaten up and died on the spot.

Witnesses mentioned that victim was seen throwing a punch on a passerby in their area.

Miss Natalie,
Who witnessed the whole incident caught some photos of them in action.






A journalist who had traveled in most parts of the world,
Mentioned that "He chose the wrong person to release his stress on",
Miss Natalie believes that according to her journals,
That guy on the right is the leader of the Soviet Russia.

She later assumed that this "Royan Mackovic" was having a business conversation when the victim attacked.
Which alerted the caller that Mr Mackovic is in trouble.


According to the sources from other passerbys who happened to be roaming around the area,
A group of kids mentioned that they saw two "dangerous-looking" men,
Believed to be carrying weapons behind their back.

Photos from a kid's Koko Krunch camera.





So the kids followed them from the back,
Playing "Blues Clues",
Their unfortunately favourite show on TV.


Witness #1 Miss Natalie later mentioned that she saw two men,
Believed to be non-locals coming into the area,
With some idiotic kids crawling on the floor behind them.

"I thought they look pretty familiar so I checked my journal again." Said Miss Natalie.

She mentioned that she was shocked to see the both of them in her journal.




They are Royan Mackovic's well known hitmen.



Puerto Rican's most wanted,
Wanee Depelehuz.




And Mr Mackovic's best hitman,
Portugal's well known crime-planner,
Azriato Leneira.




Miss Natalie mentioned that she was shocked when Mr Leneira waved to her after putting on shades,
Motioning her to come nearer,
Letting her take close-up pictures of what is going to happen next.

And it started.

Victim was slammed to the wall by both of the hitmen.




Frustated by the challenge,
Victim challenged them.

To a Mortal Kombat.

Miss Natalie quickly takes out her N6300 and plays the Mortal Kombat theme.



Mr Leneira,
Known for his mind-wrecking plans,
Sends Mr Depelehuz to give victim a good beating.



Still beating.

Gathering all of his strength,
Mr Depelehuz sends victim flying off with a strong Shor-Yu-Ken,
Well yeah it's a Street Fighter move in Mortal Kombat,
Well,
Yeah.

Seeing victim rising up and started dashing towards them again,
Mr Leneira took over,
Unleashing his special move.

"Quickly tap X,X,O,O,R1+R2,O"




Victim was sent to the ground after Mr Leneira's Buddha Palms hits his chest hard.

Miss Natalie was shaken then when she heard a loud groan behind her.

"I thought I was in Jurassic Park for a second, but when I turned.."

The Russian has rised up to his feet.



Mr Mackovic sent our dearest Journalist flying to the ground as he walks past her,
Accidentally hitting her with his belly button.

"I was scared..", said Miss Natalie.

"The trees shook wildly when Mr Mackovic suddenly yell out to his hitmen."

Yeap,
As you all have guessed it.

"FINISH HIMMM!"

Filling up all of their energy bar,
The trio release their most devastating attack ever.

Rape.









And so,

The victim died out of sexual satisfaction.



Miss Natalie came up to the Portuguese for an interview,
Stating that it will be a hit entry for years.

The well known crime planner later reveal their secrets on lawsuit prevention,
Saying that "We are professional, so we'll make it look like an accident."

So they began stucking up the lifeless victim into an urn.
And ordered flowers.



For the understanding of all races,
They even wrote their "condolences" in different languages.







While taking a break from all this mess,
Miss Natalie managed to get them to comply for photoshoot.




(Nothing like a good ol' girly pose)


"Another victim for the year!"

Wanting to know them more personally,
Miss Natalie offered to buy them a drink.

But Mr Leneira rejected,



"No ma rasta, Im drivin ma man, seen?"

The trio later started to leave the place after goodbyes and kisses.

Sexually turnt on,
Miss Natalie offered them to buy a drink again.


"Silence! I'll kill you!"

Out of fear,
Miss Natalie ran off.

Which concludes the interview.


Well now then,

Merry belated christmas.

And a happy new year in advanced.

Phew that took some time,
Lan

My other side

Games,

Too much of it,
And grayness will run through your heart,
That ability to get your crush on a girl,
It died on me in the past.

Feeling gray,
Has it good ends,
And bad ends.

My era of being one hardcore gamer ended late last year,
That's when I started chilling out doing shits with my mates.
And slowly I started to feel my heart beating again.

But sometimes.

Gray was the best feeling.





I remembered,
Back then during my ITE days,
I learned in depth about computers,
I knew more gamers,
Compiling into a dream to get the best entertainment I can afford.

I remembered,
Mom got me a gaming computer,
But I figured out that wasn't enough.
And spent my long-saved cash,
Bursaries,
To upgrade my PC further.

Costs me nearly 1k just for the upgrades.

All of it just because of a game I got addicted to,
Battlefield 2.

The addiction died sooner or later,
Who would have thought that I would have got my PC performing over the edge,
And ended up in.



The ever so famous "Maplestory"

That wages girl in the picture,
She was my in-game "girlfriend" before she migrated to NZ.

Yes people,
I'm that pathetic.

I wasted more than $200 buying those damn prepaid cards for the game,
And for fucks sake,
You even need to pay to "marry" someone.





The fuck was I thinking?

Well that was a start of my hardcore-gaming days.
Spending more time on my computer seat than sleeping.

I sure made a lot of friends online,
And we even met.

It's hilarious though,
Because all the time being together outside,
We called each other by user IDs.

Jason a.k.a altwtips: Hey nes.
Me a.k.a Nescafe: Sup alt?
Passerbys: Ah, the modern names of the modern era.


Soon after,
I found another game.

One that is still in my hard drive for a good 3 years now.

I talked about it a lot in my really old posts as well.

Guild Wars.




It took me quite awhile to get myself addicted to this game,
It's like migrating to another country,
Leaving your loved ones behind.

Took me months,
To get hold myself,
And proudly raise both of my hands as I shout out loud.

"Fuck Maplestory!"





Somehow I got myself into one of the most famous Singapore guild in the game.
Most of them are way older than me.
But we get along after doing missions together for some time.

And I still remember we made our own chalet stay just for the guild.
The way they looked in real life,
And how they look so cute in the game.

Freak me out real bad.

We had another outing a year later,
The guild leader himself,
Treated me Swensens.

So people,
If you want a free meal,
Play an online game where working adults does.

And remember the magic word.

"Fuck Maplestory!"




There was even a screenshot contest held,
And I participated.

As much as I want to believe,
It's hard to believe,
But believe me,
I got first place.

Unbelievable isn't it.

Just for this one picture.




Caption: "Caught on camera"


And guess what,
That guy on the right,
Is a monk.


Tsk,
Corruption.

I was so into games then,
So much.

The day everyone celebrate christmas by going to parties dancing around christmas tree,
I sat at home.

And took pictures with Gingerbread men.





Heh.

How I missed those times.


How I missed feeling gray.


cc pls,
Lan

All the pretty faces

Before I get to the main subject of the day,
There's one important thing I would like to sort out.

One of the traitors who just left blogspot for livejournal has already shown how bad LJ can corrupt one's soul.

I told her so,
But she doesn't believe it.

Won,
The darkside has.

-.-

So this particular LJ foolishly stated that I'm a sleepy hollow wannabe.
When on my previous post's picture was more of a hollowman like I've mentioned.

This is a mistake I'll never accept.

You listen here real good Darth Meowth,
I'll out it real simple for you.


Sleepy Hollow doesn't have a head,
And excels at killing.





While hollowman doesn't have a,
Erm,
Anything visible.
And excels at outrage of modesty, snatch theft,
Whatever anyone invisible might think of doing.




That'll do it.

Now onto the main subject of today.


I'm too hooked on GTA IV,
Ain't got time to start thinking about what to blog.

So that is all for the main subject.


*Takes cab to weapon store*,
Lan

Never was on time, Yes I once was mine

And they said I look like hollow man.

Sigh.

I wish I am though.

*evil grin*

Now now.

I wish to whine about some inconsiderate fucks who just got this phobia of putting their hands down.

You see,
I was on my way back from jamming and sheesha with MF,
Got myself into a fully loaded train.

Like damn,
My ass almost got squeezed in between the train doors,
And the person infront of me could feel my whole ribcage trying to mate with his spine.

It was THAT cramped up.

Worse comes to worst.

The ones who I feel should just scotch-taped dettol soaps on each of their armpits,
Just have to hold their hand high on the handle when it's vacant from the middle to the bottom.

You should know which species I'm referring to,
And I'm never a racist,
Just someone with allergies to body odour,
In fact almost everyone does.

But these particular group of people,
Just had no idea that the reason why MRTs are so clean,
Is because of them smelling like that and doing shits like this that even roaches lists them under their allergies.

It rhymes neatly,
But I know I've just made one factual rhyme.

Hell,
I could barely breathe even when I'm much more taller than them,
How I wish some cleaner with a mop and a bottle of fabuluso would come in and start mopping their fucking armpits.

Sigh.
Hot like fuck is one thing.
Stinks worse than my cat's shit is another.

Imagine this



Now imagine the same guy going sleeveless.

Come together with me people,
And propose that MRTs should limit their poles from foot to our chest level,
And have their ceiling higher up so none can rest their hands on it,

And anyone caught raising their hand over an inch above their hair will be charged for air pollution.

Darn,
If Singapore is a free country I would have roll my lighter wheel just under their armpits,
So that till the end of trip, they can kepit (dunno eng so mly cn luh) it all the way.

That will be the end of my whining session.
For today.

So,

This year marks the first time I had 4 counts of fever.

Somehow I'm beginning to wonder if it's related to me being in NS,
Because from what I knew, I can only reach a maximum of two fevers in a year.
I had it once before I enlisted,
And on friday marks the 3rd time I got it after I start spending most of my time in camp.

Which contradicts what they say about us getting fitter and fitter while serving the nation.

Fuck it dawg,
I ain't getting any better in running away from hot bodies yaw,
The fuck?
Thing's fuckin me up worse and shiiit.

Now my fever kept coming and leaving,
Friday had it.
Saturday no have it. (Saturday night fever my ass)
And today I gotten it again.

Worse still,
I had to go jamming with MF with my vision swaying here and there.

And that's the second time I actually went out on a physical activity in fever-mode.

Only this time I didn't get to lie down somewhere and let my heavy head gets some rest.

Heck I even slept for a good 2 hours after spending the whole night playing a game I just purchased.

GTA IV's the shit yo.

The new multiplayer mode makes it even more addictive,
Once I got my pay I'm gonna get the next one on my list.




LitteBigPlanet.
All about working in a team of online gamers.

Go google it and read them reader's reviews.
Everyone who played em,
Gets addicted to em.

I've yet to see what's so interesting about some muppets roaming about,
Being little fucks jumping here and there in human's bedroom,
The possibilities and creativity are just endless.

Maybe that's the reason no one got tired of it.

Sigh,
If only PS3 games were not so overpriced,
I would have enough cash to buy more than 5 games per salary.
Because what I need now is get my feelings gray,
And games do just that.

Of course I'll even grow more homesick when in camp,
Well,
At least I have much more friends in the squad now compared to my previous one.

Maybe back then I was just one emoshit motherfucker who leans on the cupboard,
And daydream all day and night.

Glad that I found myself back.





Brandon Flowers Wannabe,
Lan

So it came: The first day of the last month in the calendar. *Ultra-big HAUFF to me*

EXCLUSIVE!!!!


Newcomer "Lanny the Jiwang Buddy" has recently released a new malay hit single,
His first ever song made in Malay.

Titled,

Semakin Tua, Semakin Dilupa (Sendiri Amuk & May remix),
Written by Lanny the Jiwang Buddy himself.


Diinginnya di malam ini, suasana pilu
Terkenang rambut ku lagi, secara dalam
(Yehhh..)

Setelah birthday terjadi, sepi hatiku
Terpadamlah bara rokok, batukku handle

Mengapa aku harus, merayakan sorang-sorang
Hanya kerana, NS bodoh itu
Dihancurkan kota mesra, yang dibina tak tentu arah
Di masa, yang lalu

Kini aku terus bernyanyi, (yehhhh ughhh)
Happy birthday sekali lagi (aghhh yarghhh)
Tinggallah aku sendiri,
Dinaikkan umurku lagi~

Kini aku semakin tua (ah hahhh)
Oleh kerana Disember lagi (eh heeee)
Dan ku juga, semakin dilupa
Pada hari jadi ini (eee hee eee eeee)

---End of free demo--


Apologies to all those Non-Malays here,
And another one for leaving SLN deserted for like.

A week?

Darn it's being that long.

You might have already knew,
I was on attachment at Pasir Ris NPC since last Friday,
Till Monday morning.

Basically morning shifts and night shift bundled up together,
=
Too Fucking Tired Nescafe Man

And for this simpang-bedok's-chicken-kebab-I'm-eating-now sake,
I haven't get any sleep since Sunday's afternoon till now,
On a Tuesday morning.

It's times like this I hate NS the most.
Of course I have a lot to story-tell,
But I'll guess it's better off saving to coffee-shop talks with my crap buddies instead.

Oh and did I mentioned?
I have like 4 hours to sleep till booking in?

Fine I admit it now,
I'm having a terrible mood swing.

*Crushes Yaya's friskie in my left hand*

And to manage this stress on my own.

I've decided to put SLN on "come to please myself" mode.

With these.



My personal favourite convo with Fareha a.k.a Bloody Bobby, taken last year



And I still find it funny,
In a scary way.




I never knew who the fuck this is, but it's one of the better stress-relievement media out there.




I knew who this is though.




Honestly,
I don't know what I'm blabbering out either.

It's just that.

My birthday came to pass.

But it was just another normal day.

Though I would like to thank those who actually made an effort to wish me,
I really need them to make my day.

Sigh.

I just,
Want these days back.

Without my buck tooth please.




I NEED MORE TIME TO REST DAMN IT,
Hauff-Ze-Lan