Are we humans, Or are we dancers?

Summary: Selling off Playstation 2, JB and MTR raya pics, and everyday's stuff.


Leaves from HTA,
Leaves from SLN.

Who would have thought?

Sheesh.

And that brings up a number of possibilities,


-That blog-person inside of me has died.
-Not enough caffeine.
-Nothing to write about.
-Faf and Pariapa has been keeping themselves too quiet on MSN for me to copy paste them here.

I even had my personal favourite 4 pumps vanilla 1 pump caramel caramel machiatto,
Yet my brain still can't work as before.

Meh,
I guess I will rely on pictures in this post.

Raya pics of Jantan Brothers and My Team Raya combined.

But before I get to that,
Letting you all see how hooligan-ly I look without hair,
It's business talk.


I'm selling off my 3-4 year old Playstation 2 (Slim & Modded)

Details are as follows:

- The console itself
- Black Ps2 Analog, White PS1 Analog, Gray PS1 controller, one each.
- One Ps2 Memory card.
- Multi-Tap
- Lots of *cough* games (Will list them if interested)

Physical condition is as good as new.
Working condition, no problems as of yet.

My reason for selling is to get myself a PS3.

Currently I have my PC as wife,
iPod as my partner,

So now I need a brand new scandal since they're pretty much changeable.

Yippie-ka-yay.

Anyway in total I've spent $400++ on it,
So I'm looking at $182 yet negotiable.

If interested do inform me,
But of course I have other bidders in forums too,
Highest price wins the bet.

Preferably meet around the east side,
But I don't mind if you wanna take the extra step to test it at your home,
As long there's coffee.


There won't be any discount by whatever means,
So save the thought of lowering it's price with cartons of Nescafe Cappucino.

But I sure don't mind that as a gift though.


It'll be good if you know my number and contact me through smses,
Not calls mind you,
I never like calls.

Cause' most probably I'll end up reformatting my PC after this post,
Can't believe I didn't do that for almost a year now.

No wonder it lags like fuck.

And it pisses me off as Battlefield 2 player,
When I'm in a Jet,
Lags,
And crashes into a crane.

Talking about BF2,
I just got promoted last night.




*Holds head up high*

So if you happened to see me going busy on MSN which I seldom do in the past,

That's the reason.

Recently I downloaded that Project Reality mod too,
Which as the name suggests,
It's just too fucking realistic.

Maybe not the gameplay,
But the communication system.

Never in my life have I played a game,
And a conversation went like.

*Helicopter flying just above us*

Player 1: *over mic* Alright guys stay down and lie prone till it get past us.

*Accidentally stood up*

Player 1: I SAID STAY DOWN DAMMIT!

Me: *sends chat message* Sry.

Player 1: Hah, nah it's okay.

I guess this game is not a game for them european players.
Heck maybe they would even slice up their own throat when they got killed in a game.

Of course it's always nice to find yourself talking to someone from a different side of the world.
Their accents when they get mad is pretty scary I should say.

But I can never stop myself from giggling when a Thai mic over in the game,
Yelling out gibberish after being shot at.

"AHH PUNG PUNG NIPAPA PUNG DUNG DUNG SLAMDUNK ANGG!"

Even naz who happens to be in my room playing my PS2 will laugh his ass off hearing that.

Now now before I go on and on regarding a game I spent 3 years on,
I'll just end up this entry with raya pics.


More of JB's raya pics,


At my house



Policemen on sentry duty at Yat's house



Too. Fucking. Bored.



Blue blue Yat's house



Daydreaming in Nizam's house



Brothers in the force



Pakcik and Makcik (One day couple -.-)



Allergic



Now focus on the right, what did you see? (Spooky ain't it?)



Us and apek driver



KITTIES GALORE AT ROZAIMI'S HOUSE










My Team Raya 2008

In Reza's Subaru ImpREZA



Shy-guy, sibukmenontontv-guy, Smiley-guy



I have a crush on Arif's younger sister



And that's why he have to come blocking her in this shot



Mat having orgasm looking at Lan the Sexyback -.-



Frez's house



Penang-boy and friends



Gotta love this shot



This too



Frez a.k.a Penang Boy



Keeping ourselves comfortable at Yat's house (Yes, a different hidayat)



Yat and his younger sibling



Nigeria Manhunt winner



Portuguese Fucker



Looking forward to slimming down? Use this pic to kill your appetite



Good ol frez falling asleep during raya



"Huh go home already?"



Newsflash of the day: Mat pulled off Yat's toilet door



Informal



Formal



Special credits to Reza for being our "The Tranporter"




I'm done here.

Will probably return on the weekends before going back in for my course.

Sheesh,
Back to square one.

Thank god hair is keep-able now.

Aside from that,
I'll be meeting Mel Fraps this Saturday after the band's indefinite hiatus.

I hope our new plans will work.



Say Natalie, I would never understand,
Lan

Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed

I'm not the kind who loves going back on my words,
So my apologies for this rather later entry than I've stated previously.

About my posting,
I'm lucky,
In fact too lucky to have been posted to the Airport Police.

I can't believe how my luck has been going so well these days.

Reasons,

- The fittest and the better overall conducts of my squad,
Somehow got their choices changed and got posted to sentry duties instead.

- Some whom I classed as S.O.C material, got themselves into PIC,
Job of escorting prisoners.


So what I'm trying to say now is that,
I don't see why I deserve such better posting when compared to my squad as a whole.
Since to me,
I'm reasonably the weaker one with a worse conduct compared to them.

Perhaps it's the way of my life being fair to me,
How it was hell for me the minute I walked into HTA,
Personal problems breaking me down so bad that I never dared to post anything about it here.

Now I'm just relieved,
On how the tides have changed.

Oh well,
Seems like I still have some airport course shit to go for.

What a bugger.
-.-

Saying that,
I'm gonna miss my squad a lot.

But if I were to be completely honest,
I'm just you know,
Gonna miss my bunkmates a lot.

They were the ones who saw what I am since the first day,
And how I slowly recovered and came out of my shell day after day.

I sure got a lot of referral names given by them.
Old folk was one of them,
Not suprisingly though,
Since it was the great Ah Pui who came up with that.

I was just lying down on my bed innocent when he goes all,

"Eh azlan you look like those old people from old folks home sia."

Youngest in the bunk,
Others referring to me as some elderly.

Sigh.
What the world has come to.

I remembered how we parted last night,
Our last words,
So emotions-filled.

How I signaled to him to come nearer towards me as I whispered,
Like a girl wanting more,

"Ah. Pui."

How the walking fridge turned and smile,
btw he luks lyk sum ghey wen he smyled lololol.

"Old. Folk."

That was our goodbye.

While the others it was the ordinary typical "take care seeya" kind of shits.

Well JS,
Even if you were to go all Lan or maybe skinnier than me,

I'll never stop calling you Ah Pui.
So you can go all bulimic and stuff,

You're forever a fucker known to me as Ah Pui.

Heh.

After tonight's entry,
I hope I can be the way I was,
How I missed talking about the randomest of things,

But.

No longer as one German wannabe.

Aww fuck,
Guess I have to get used with all these Portuguese shit in me.

Anyway I have plans on some song-writing now,
So see you guys some day later.

Hopefully with chat logs.

Tee-hee.

More and more for Mel Fraps,
Lan

P.O.P.O!

It's official now,
My P.O.P is just hours away.

In other words,
Tomorrow is the day I have been waiting impatiently for.

Furthermore,
I've just got my posting results earlier this afternoon.

And I'm truly suprised on how lady luck has been smiling on me.

I'm one of the 15% in the squad whom got the posting they applied for,
While the others got unsatisfying posting results that totally brings them down,
So low that even the most talkative person ever spent his time daydreaming a lot.

There are those whom I classed as the better ones,
So much higher than what I would have classed myself,
Honestly I feel that these are the ones who should be getting all the good postings,
But in the end most got posted for sentry duty.

Life's unfair?
They can't agree more.

Even JS,
I mean Ah Pui,
Have got what it takes to get himself into the Special Operations Command,
Or at least Neighbourhood Police.

Somehow he got posted to PIC instead,
You know those men in blue escorting prisoners day in and day out?

I can't believe how the fuck he got into PIC instead,
And he very much can't believe it either.

I feel you friend,
And I hope somehow you'll find that job exciting,
Else it's just another suffering 1 year and a half.

Don't worry you'll always be my mocca-muscle-ad-look-a-like.

Well then,
About my posting now.

I'll leave it until tomorrow for the update,
Fret not though,
I'm kind enough to leave a hint.

To those who have been my regular readers,
I believe the hint itself is the answer.

My posting,
Is related,

To PuaCiBai.

Heh.

Talking about double happiness.

Till then,
Lan

A shocking fact about myself

You didn't have to do it but you did it to say
That you didn't have to do it but you would anyway


My apologies for this late post,
I've been feeling rather unwell these past few days.

Fever.
For the second time in 2008.

Anyway I have shocking news,
Maybe just to me.
It's about what blood I actually carries.

And no,
It's not German unfortunately.

Hell,
I'll save it till the later part of this post.

I'm not really in the mood to make this entry as entertaining as possible,
Since I'm still feeling heaty and heavy right now.

So,
Last Friday,
I got confined in HTA till Saturday because of the most ridiculous reason ever.

Didn't went for haircut.

I didn't knew whether to cry or laugh when my officer-in-charge call me to his office,
Asking me to sign a paper and he goes like,

"You guys will be confined till tomorrow because of not going for a haircut."

Even the high-ranking officer behind him spoke in malay.

"Dia ni tak habis2 nak kacau orang."

"Everytime want to disturb people this guy."

Whether my OC understands malay,
I do not know.

I just take it that he's taking advantage of us since we're going to P.O.P the next week,
With confinement.

-.-

So there's five of us,
Four from my squad,
And another from different company whom my OC asked me to take good care of him,
Since he's in the new intake.

Whom got caught smoking.

Confinement.
Sure sounds bad doesn't it.

HELL NO.

When everybody left HTA,
It was mainly just us and Duty Officer who sits in his office.

So yeah,
HTA was a chalet to us.

We didn't really have much work to do,
Just meeting the D.O every 2 hours or so,
The rest of the time we're free to do anything.

ANYTHING.

And the food served at mess was definitely much better than usual.

Oh did I mentioned we all woke up at 7am plus instead on Saturday?

Heh.

I went back earlier than the others who were released at 6pm,
Since I caught fever since the previous night and got myself an MC.

Blessing in disguise.
Them Jantan Brothers picked me up at Jurong East for jalan raya.

Of course they get me to my house first to change to my raya suit.


With our driver.



Couple for the night?



NOT!



Policemen on the far left side



Comparing who have the longer hair



Still feverish



The only house I happened to get a green packet




Rozaimi,
a.k.a Jantan Binawe,
a.k.a My Junior

Is the house I've always loved to visit,
Wonder why?

There's 20 plus of this things,





Jealous now faf?
Heh.


Now now,
I'm left with 4 more days to my passing out parade.
Will be booking out after my P.O.P dinner this thursday,
And coming back in on friday morning.

If you're interested to come for this rather similar parade to that of NDP,
Do contact me for further information.

And then I will have one whole week of holidays.
Hurray.

So now that we have come to the end of this post,
I have something to announced,
Something that I found out last night when my uncles and aunties were in my house.

I'm neither a pure malay nor mixed with German blood.

But instead,
I'm someone whom Naz should respect a lot since his favourite footballer came from this country.


All hail Lan,



The Portuguese breed.


No wonder my uncle kept calling me Portuguese skinhead last night,
Curiousity forced me to ask my mom why Portuguese,
That's when I knew my history.

That's when I knew I'm not adopted since I'm fair and my Dad looks like Jay-Z.

Although I still wish I'm a German.
:/


And to Fareha,
I'm not fooling anyone this time,
You can ask my mummy the next time you talked to her.

[accent=portuguese]Ahaha[/accent]

Guess I have to start supporting Portugal by means of football then,
Of course it's always second to my beloved Ballack's Germany.

And every country supporter have at least one favourite player from that country.
Mine goes to the man who plays as the same position as me in the footballing world.

People,
Meet Paulo Ferreira.



*Keeps Paulo in my store room alongside Ballack*


That is all.


The Feverish Portuguese That Loves Mozarella Cheese,
Alano Azreira

These trials don't prepare the air of love

Just a little something I wanted to add on in yesterday's post.

A section which faf and pariapa would have orgasms to.

The dirty-talk section.


Been quite sometime since I last did all these.
Oh well.


So,

Last week in camp,
We bunk-mates happened to engaged in a conversation,
A conversation every boys will come and sit down in circle around us.

Of course,
A conversation that will happen at least once in your NS life.

Girls.
And sexual experiences.

I'm gonna keep this short since I have like 45 minutes before booking in.

Tsk.
If only I remember this last night.

Shocking fact #1: 2 out of 10 guys in my bunk are virgins.

That makes only me and another one.

Rare species?
You bet.

So we ended up talking about first-times and such,
Nothing much for me to contribute.

Ended up listening and laughing at all the suprisingly hilarious moments they shared.
That's when they knew I was a virgin.

And on December first,
That will automatically make me a 20-year old virgin.

Heh.

JS a.k.a Ah Pui,
The one I mentioned in yesterday's post,
Was totally shocked at me stating I still have my flamingo un-thrusted into any love-holes.

Even during the night when we were preparing ourselves to go to sleep,
He came by my bed.

JS: You sure anot you virgin?

Me: Ya la cb, how many times you want to ask me that freaking question.

JS: But I really cannot believe leh.

Me: The fuck. I swear I'm a virgin, okay?

JS: But your face look like those who always go fuck girls one.

Me: Nabei. I'm a fucking innocent boy la sia.


On that night,
I felt terrible.

After 19 years plus of life,

I have a fuck-face.

Even after I slept and wake up the next morning,
JS will always call out "virgin" to me as if it was some vulgar I never knew of.

Of course,
I've always wanted to be different from others.

In other words,
I'm a proud virgin.

*pats dick*

Here's a little something that not many knew of,
That I learnt,
Did my research,
And found out it was unbelievably true.

The acts of perverts.


There are perverts,
Especially those working in office,
Who happens to get something to eat at McDonalds or something,
Will ask a girl they have sights on if she wanted anything to eat.

To you girls,
NEVER ASK A GUY FOR FILET-O-FISH.

Because HE,
Will bring it to the gents,
Masturbate and cums on it,
Mixing it with the tar-tar sauce until it's totally undetectable.

And let the girl eat it while he felt sexually-satisfied looking at her.

You didn't knew that,
Do you?

Normally girls who works in the office will have an extra pair of shoes in the office.
So what do them perverts do?

Cummed in it,
To them it's satisfying to look at the poor girl going back home with human glue on her feet.

You didn't knew that,
Do you?

And my favourite.

Some of those "gentlemen" will unsuprisingly help girls buy a cup of coffee,
But like the filet-o-fish scenario,
He'll bring it to the toilet,
Cum on it,
Stir it.

There you have it,
Kopi-O Mani.

You didn't fucking knew that,
Do you?

And don't ask me to research by doing so and stating here on how it taste like,
Because like every other girls whose mind is still straight,

It's just bloody disgusting if you ask me.

So my advice to all girls,
When asking a guy to tapau for you something from McDonalds or the like,
Get something that doesn't have mayonaise, tar-tar sauce, or whatever creamy-ish.

Best bet will em chicken mcnuggets.

But if the curry sauce happen to be open upon getting it,
Let the guy have it.


Thank god I'm a guy.


You know it's gonna hurt sometimes,
You know it's gonna bleed sometimes,

So hold on.



Barely 20-year old virgin,
Lan

13 more days to P.O,P

Before I get to that "Oh lookie lookie spammer's back in ze comments section" part,
Just a little something.


One of my bunkmates,
Who spends everyday in the service making random and stupid comments,
That the only reason why our bunk is one of the noisiest was due to the others laughing,
Has one of the coolest initials I've ever heard.

Loh Jia Seng.
a.k.a LJS.

Does it reminds you of something?
If you still don't get it,
Thank him for making up another crap to satisfy your curiosity.





Gotta love that creativity,
Heh.

So lately he hasn't been talking to me,
Assuming the fact that I irritate him too much.

Mind you,
He's one tall big-sized guy who brings dumbbells to the camp,
Body-building almost every single day.

Definitely one of those in my "not-to-hug-on-P.O.P-day" list.

Well you see,
Months ago when we're still innocent-looking fucks in the service,
One of the officers happen to called out to him.

"Ah Pui"

I never knew what that means,
But JS here went like "Cheebye" under his breath.

At one look he looks fat,
That's my first impression of him until the day he slept in his black renoma underwear.

So perhaps Ah Pui had something to do with fat.
But whatever it is,
Recently I've been calling him that.

I've been doing my research on it.
And found this.




Perhaps I'm right after all.
Heh.

So before JS went silent on me,
We were having some sort of insulting parade.

Me: AH PUI!

JS: Knn you say that again! *points at me with an irritated expression*

Me: Okay. AH PUUUIIII!

JS: Knn. Never minddd, you call me ah puiii. Its okaayyyy. *sarcasm*

Me: Then what? You don't want to call me back ah? Skinny ghost or what?

JS: Okaaaay. I think of a worse name for you laterr.

Me: Why not now? You body big but brain small? No wonder people call you ah pui.

JS: Ohhh you saying I no brain lahhh? I no use brain ahhh? What for want to use it for you..To me you like a dust onlyyy... No need to usee brain lahhh.

Me: Ya lah because you no brain how to use.

JS: Ohhhh nevermindddddd.. *irritated look as he walks off*

Me: ahpui!


After which he went all quiet on me.
And sometimes he indirectly mentioned me when we were talking in the bunk,
Going like.

"Whaat to dooo.. Got people call me no brainn mahhh.."

Even in the toilet when all of us were in our respective cubicles showering.

The others: P. O. P. O!

Me: AH PUI!

JS: EH WHO CALL ME AH PUI?

Little that he knows I'm oblivious of the meaning.

Oh well,
I just love any word that sounds like an insult to me.

Until now I never understood why I've been using the term "Muka Jolok",
On whoever I saw yawning as if he/she is trying to eat a kinder suprise whole.

Well JS,
I know you don't read me,
And I know our conflict is just us acting,
But just in case you take it seriously.


All I wanted to say to you is,

I really love calling you Ah Pui,
Somehow it's so suiting.


I kid.
Heh.

Anyway I would love to post his picture here,
But considering my life will be at stake the moment he finds out,
I find it wiser to do that after P.O.P.

+1 Motivation to blog.

Enough about him for now.

So all of us did our law test,
And fortunately most of us passed.

Thank God.
I was never made to face 150 questions at one go.
Including 10 immediate failure questions.

It's much scarier than that I assure you.

For swimming,
I was one of the few failures.

Due to the fact that I look like a chicken trying to fly when they threw me into the pool.

So much movements,
Still at the same spot.

-.-

There's a lot I wanted to say about being in the service actually,
But I guess it'll be more approriate to do it after passing out.

Becase that's when the emotions starts rolling in.

Now now.

I'm sure you all remember Mat DumbSon.
The infamous anonymous.





Idiot.

You make me miss my hair.

How I was motivated to take good care of it.
Forcing my laziness to go off as I put on conditioner often.
Playing with it around my finger.

And shake my head to stop it from poking my eyes.

Tsk.

Well now,
I don't really understand why you're telling me all these.

If there's so much you want to crap about,
Here's something from my friendster's profile.




This applies to you too.

If you're so sissy-licious that you don't want to be known.
Fine,
Just create another msn account and add me in,
Then we'll talk.

If you have no idea on what user ID to use.

Here's one designed for you.

matdumbson@hotmail.com

I'll entertain you then.



Well now.

Camp life has been a tad too mundane.
Slacking everyday and now.

13 more days to P.O.P.
Add in another 7 to my posting date.

To my most missed Jantan Brothers ITE mates,
I'll see you guys next Saturday for our jalan raya.
Yeah I'll do my best to come.
:)

To iRandom and co.
Jalan Raya will be postponed to 25th or later due to the large scale of people unable to attend today's.

To Squad 31.
I hope one day we can Jalan Raya too.
And fuck those who ended our "Best Squad of 132 intake" run because of you guys smoking and the theft of our $156 funds.

To my feline sidekick.
WTF HAPPENED TO YOUR BLOG!?!?


Oh and,
I got myself a cup with a police logo on it.

Uber coolness. ^.^v

Also,
I'm currently into my song-writing mood,
So to Mel Fraps,
Get ready for our comeback with a big bang.
Fucking miss you guys.


Say it with me now.


AHHHHH PUUUUIIIIIIIIIII,
Lan