We seen it all, bonfires of trust, and flash floods of pain

I need my life back.
All this while staying in HTA,
I've been growing more and more gray.

And that's not a good sign.

Sigh.

Anyway hello again everyone.

As usual,
I have a darn lot to talk about,
But time hasn't been too kind towards me.

So,
In search of something small to talk about,
Faf came to the rescue.

Or at least I hoped so.





If that's what you insisted.

The talk follows up in her talking about her personal problems,
Which is rare for her feeling downward turns time and time again.

But it's becoming a trend now.
Everyone around me,

Those I cared,
My parents,
My friends,
And all those who matters to me.

Trapped themselves in the state of continuous delusions of paranoia,
And it all happened when I can't get on MSN 24/7 because of some stupid course.

Does that shows how important I am?

Neh,
I kid.

Now there I was having my smokes and mom-made Kopi-O,
Faf just had to do it.

"Miang-miang kucing" as I would have called it.




And my best attempt so far to run away from this uncomfortable flight.





At least that cooled her down.

Thus becoming one cool cat.

Ugh,
My randomness.




Okay okay.

Enough of this.
Hopefully I'll come back next week with more shits to announce.

Hopefully Grandpa has waken up by then.

And hopefully Bloody Bobby will give me a treat to Starbucks next week.

Heh.


Butterfly Mild Shag owns you,
Lan

I got soul but I'm not a soldier

I don't really have much to talk about.
Even with so many things that happened since the previous entry.

Or to put it in another way,
I'm not actually in the form to talk too much.


My grandpa has just been admitted to the hospital here,
Worse still,
He's in the coma.

It was Saturday's morning when my mom woke me up,
Telling me she's going back to malaysia after getting news that my grandpa slipped in the toilet and fell,
And it took them one hour to realise someone was in the toilet,
Flat on the ground.

Home alone till today afternoon when my family came back after grandpa got admitted to Tan Tock Seng.

I've lost my grandma just last year,
In a coma-mode too.

Whatever it is,
I really hope grandpa's wake will be soon,
And for that I need your prayers too.

I'm not ready to lose someone who chases me with a cane during my small naughty bastard times,
When I took some metal pole and did some ninja turtle.


Grandpa,
Please wake up soon,
I won't get to see you in the hospital,
Until next week.

Stay strong Mr Sailor.


On the good side,
I got myself a Playstation 3.

But as you might have guessed,
I'm not in the mood to talk about happy cheerful content.


That is all,
Lan

Comeback of the Business world

Before I start off,
I present to you.

From The Killers upcoming album.

"Human"



Tell me that's fucking awesome.

*Orgasms*

Now.

I'm not one who would hold up against languages,
Especially mine,

But this is too outrageous.

And it must be stopped at all cost.


So that I'll stop laughing the minute I saw my inbox.




I thought it would be fun clicking on that language thingy on friendster,
Changed it to malay and expect everything to go melayu.

But nothing happened.

Not until after meeting Mel Fraps up for session,
Coming back, saw my inbox, going wtf,
And giggled.

Which in turn got me going to friendster,
And suffered more.




Siapa yang melihat saya
Muat naik gambar
Jemput Kawan

Lain.

And the best yet,



Edit Istimewa.

Friendster just turned,
So melayu.

Saya amat kagum apabila terlihat kawanster bertukar bahasa sehingga sangat melayu.

Fulamak,
Sudah boleh mengajar ibu saya memakai friendster begini.

"Mak comment:

Lan, nak beli apa untuk makan nanti?"

That will be the day I'll smash my Bon Jovi mug onto that area just above my left ear,
Laughing.

Now before I actually touch on business.

I can't believe how faf turned so naive.

Or maybe I should call it,
Unrealistically naive.

You see,
I was helping her out selling off her iPod shuffle fetching a good price,
A buyer came by and I directed faf to him.

With a simple sms going like.

9******* - Shufflingman

So she took over and started smsing him behind rapist's back.





If she hadn't mentioned my id,
Mr Shufflingman would have thought it's a girl he shuffled with in some club.

Damn you faf.
You're ruining my reputation.

Now he knows I referred to him as shufflingman.

And you mentioned my real name.
Do you know what will happen afterwards?

He'll start referring to me as some Lan-jiao the next time he saw my id.

I'll kill you the minute I catch rapist sleeping,
Which is anytime.

Sleepy hollow jokes never gets old.
Heh.

Now now,
Regarding business.

I'm back at it.
That person who made bucks after ransacking his whole room,
Has just turned bolder.

Friday I made a deal with someone,
Buying his second gameboy advance with alot of games at 70 bucks.
I did some research and made a few assumptions,
The whole package total up to double the price.

Good deal?
I can't agree more.

Yesterday I met another to purchase a game,
Which retail price is about $50.
He sold me at $18,

Sealed and brand new.


And later this morning,
I'll be sealing the greatest deal yet,
The selling of my 3-year old Playstation 2.

So most probably I'll be going to his house to let him test my soon-going-to-be-ex-scandal.

Of course,
She'll be replaced with a brand new Ps3 next week.

Heh.

So Hans,
If I'm not able to come on your gig,
I believe my reason is sound enough now.

I kid mate.


That would be it.

Sigh,
I kinda miss Lanny the arrogant buddy.

Perhaps I'll save it for the next entry.


As he would have said.


Hope I won't get to see you again suckers,
Lan

You said I'm falling behind, Can you read my mind?

Unwise

I thought it was wise,
To put in all effort baiting you to hate me,
I thought it was wise,
To do the same on everyone around you
To use all that for an excuse to turn my back
With all the hatred collected which I hoped to use it back

No,
I just couldn't hate anyone as much as I've tried,
For that,
I hate myself even more
Maybe I'm too soft,
Or maybe I'm too pathetic as the way you would have put me
I never understood why I turned so unreal,
Wearing disguises after disguises after shits happened
Oh why have I turned so fake?

I thought after all that I've done,
It was the truth I've accepted,
I realised only now,
All these while I was just running away from it
Leaving traces of lies for your close ones,
Making up so many excuses to disregard me as someone I was,
Because I know they are your ears,
I had been using them,
Oh why have I turned so twisted?

Tonight,
I'm returning to the same place of memories confined,
Flashbacks of me walking everywhere talking on the phone,
Flashbacks of me observing the surroundings to put them into poems for you,
For another 3 months.

A week of holidays is all I've needed to see myself,

My real self.

So before I come back and start losing my mind again in there,
I just want to let it off my heavy chest.
This will be my last for you,
Even if you no longer care,
I only need you to know.

That fake german who makes up italian accent never changed.

This is me.



"I want to stay but I can't because,
I've been fooling around,
And I know,
That you're cold because you never even knew it was hurting me."



This will be a short entry since I have little time before I go off to ready my bag.

Finally met up Mel Fraps yesterday after all these months,
So a new bassist have joined us,
Younger yet taller than me,

And he fucking made me miss my hair a damn lot.
:/

So I've realised I had the same vocal range that of Placebo,
We're now currently discussing of performing a cover of their songs,
Brought up those pending plans to start recording three of our originals too.

I sure got alot of hugs from them last night.

God.
Knowing that Roy is constantly sweating and big enough to be the next Mark Henry a.k.a sexual chocolate,
You won't be hoping to be in my position.

A comeback to memorial,
Where we always had our sessions,
It's name explained everything.

Memorial.
Sigh.

But I'm really glad to finally get back to the music scene after quite some time,
With a lot of song drafts I made to be improvised further.
Of course I really miss them alot too,
All those crap we throw at one another,
And the new guy purposely kept staring at me as if I'm some gay.

Bloody hell,
I'm never gonna ask you to buy a freaking filet-o-fish for me.

And thank you faf for staying up late last night,
Your words are really awesome.

[accent=rapist]hahaha!!!!!it really helps alot man!!!!!!![/accent]


It's char mee and indomie all over again for dinner,
Lan