I feel just so.... hurt.

im seriously upset.. im blamed for something i did not do and they never wanted to listen. all i wanted is to b happy and my friends with me, but tats just not gonna happen.. i'm having all the problems weighing down on me. ppl has start avoiding me for reasons unknown. and i dont even know why all this is happening.

I dont give a damn on my age and how i shld behave, im so fuckin stressed up tat even my tears can flow out without me knowing. its happening even now as i speak. i dont really have anyone to talk to, to share my problems with.. im facing all these on my own, and when i wan to solve it, the other party does not.

I'm helpless.

band concert is tomorrow. i promised amin tat i wont let these problems be my obstacles during the performance. I will hide whatever is affecting me, I will do and finish this the way it supposed to. i will do this for my percussion section, and the band, and my friends.

I have to get myself together, no matter how difficult it can be.

i realised each day i hoped tat things will go back as how it is in the past, when im still the cheerful and playful person everyone know.. but no, its not going to change anything. Things have happened, i will have to accept it. if i cant make the situation better den i'll live with it.

I never wanted problems, even if it's on sumone else. i never want to give ppl problems. I wanted to help but in the end they shut me up. i want to tell them how i feel but they shut their hearts. why they hate me, i might never know.

I don't care if you say im weak or immature. this is what i am. give me a chance and i will make it up to u.. all i ask is for u to believe me, n accept me as how u did in the past.

Took 3 sleeping pills, sry cant help it.