Why aren't you shaking, Sit back inside.

Hello.

I think I have this very influential personality.
It has been proven in most cases that those who mixed too much with me.

Becomes me.

Proof #1 - Fareha

By far, she was the best extreme makeover I worked with.

Not just about how she slimmed down so much due to laughing the fats out each time we hung out,
But the way she talks.

Like this for an example.

Project Azwasaurus, The Beginning
December 2006





Project Azwasaurus, The Present
March 2008




And yesterday afternoon, she introduced a new way of masturbation for me.
Holding the cupboard's handle above me while wanking.

For fucks sake,
I don't fall down while wanking that I need to have MRT-like handles above me to hold on to.

Bad bad pariapa.


Proof #2 - Workplace

This might be the first time I'm talking about the history of how I got into Airport throwing bags for money.

And while doing it,
My influential aura worked again with my close friends.

At first I was intro'ed to the work by Naz and Frez,
But both quitted as soon as I join due to laziness and perhaps school.

It takes less than 3 months.
You heard me fucking right, less than 3 months.

To get them coming back to work, alongside my 3 other mates.
Mat, Reza and Nur.

Then came my friend's brother and his friend who also want to work with me.
And mind you I never actually talked to his brother before.

And now that I've quitted,
Look at who I brought with me.

Naz and Reza.
And the other 3 is most likely to quit in a month.

Why?
Because the influence has left.

I left.


Proof #3 - The Arabian Siamese


She speaks a great many things.
The closest to pervertic thing she ever mentioned was "kicking man balls"

And what happened when she met me?
The influence dips into her mind and spread like a plague.

It's still minor for now.
Oh and I have pictures for this too.


Before




And After





From a person who warned me to watch my words when conversing,
She talked about her bras and letting men draw her in their imagination,
Wearing bras.


Yes people.
It's called Influence.


Proof #4 - Fall of Innocence


Yes.
The most decent iRandomer of us all.

Becomes the afflicted.

Other than our usual cb, knn, wtf.
She never spoke out anything towards sexual body parts.
She never even referred to it.

And for the first time ever when talking to me.




That's about it.

And I would like to take this opportunity to guide others on what position I'm standing at.

I know sometimes I dirty talk a little too much.
I know sometimes I make horny expressions.
But it was all in fun's name.

I wanted my friends to be happy.
To laugh at my stupid actions.

I don't consider myself a pervert.
I'm just too open-minded and speaks honesty as a man.

I really feel I'm what they need to find out the hidden secrets of men.

And for fucks sake,
I don't even go clubbing to grope girls ass or wipe their butt with my flamingo and getting turned on.

For fucks sake,
I pathetically apologised to girls I accidentally bumped when skanking for the first time.

For fucks sake,
I don't mean what I usually say.

You know me well,
You'll understand I meant well.

I'm seriously tired of people who said things like I'm too dangerous to hang out with,
I have a pervertic face,
I would hump my cat to satisfy my sex desire.

I understand that the way I talk things out, it almost take no effort
To class me as a pervertic idiot.

But listen, all you people.
I've said this before,
And I'll repeat this.

I'm not born with one side.

I'm not born with one side.


So please,
Get to know this "pervert" better and you'll understand the complex built of,

Alan White.



That's all I wanted to say about myself.

Oh wait.

I want to talk about friends.


To my iRandom mates.

Everyone of us seems to having problems these days.
Maybe it's just our bad luck streak that'll run out soon.

I thought my rejection from poly was bad enough a blow to me.
But then came that NS letter which welcomes me to join the "Batons & Pistol Blues Squad".

Which to me is a blessing.

Unlike army, police usually don't require that much of tough training schedules that might turn my skin into ashes.
Burnt in the sun while marching.

Yes people.

From this,




To this,




(That brown thingy supposed to be my near-bald head but my art always sucks ass)


So cheer up people,
Everything is just blessings in disguise.


Talking about NS,
I have about 3 months left till I go in.
Which then I will have short hair for 2 years.

I fucking love my hair.
Even though people said it looks like their pubic hair.
Which strikes horror in me knowing their pubic hair is like mine.

Surely everyone will be horrified wouldn't they?

So in this short 3 months.

All I want is to be in the company of my friends.
And seeing them going well and happy before I leave them.

If I can, I wanna spend everyday with them.
And crap with them in every way possible.

For when I'm gone to Choa Chu Kang.

I will miss them the most.
More than I'll miss my hair.


From boy to man,
Lan